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There needs to be a way to only get one push notification for every new message in a group chat
(self.showerthoughts)
A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. A showerthought should offer a unique perspective on an ordinary part of life.
It should be mostly possible with ntfy, except everything would have to use it, and most apps just use one of the centralized push notification services.
I have a mildly smart home, and the server sends a push notification via ntfy. I have one of those mobile automaton tools on my phone that plays an mp3 when it sees that kind of notification. Then I have audio notifications turned off in the ntfy app my phone. With sufficiently advanced rules, I think you could set up something like you suggest; if not, a custom app could do it - one notification, and then there rest are silent until you dismiss it.
It's not a complete solution (unless you use Matrix, which can be configured to send notifications via ntfy), but my point is there's little technically preventing a solution being hacked together with existing tools. Except for those apps that only use Google or Apples push notification systems. Which is most of them.
I think your last paragraph sums up the reason for my frustration. Most of my family and friends are only chatting via the standard text app for their respective phones, and so I specifically would want to configure those notifications
Yeah, it's not ideal. I feel you; when group texts get chatty, it gets really annoying and you have to mute it. Good luck in your quest, though.