Tom Swifty Jokes

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A place to share and appreciate Tom Swifty jokes.

Rules:

  1. No bigotry allowed.

  2. Put the whole joke in the title.

  3. If posting a joke taken from elsewhere, cite the source and trim links of any metadata.

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26
1
"According to my cat, it's dinnertime," said Tom purposefully. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
 
 

OC

27
7
"The whole company was found guilty of criminal activity", Tom said with firm conviction. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
28
4
"I'm going to force that little demon to do something" said Tom, making an impact. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
29
2
"If it weren't for that hotel, I wouldn't have been born", Tom informed me (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
30
1
"Honestly, I think my last girlfriend was a 1", Tom said exoneratingly. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
31
6
"What are your plans for this roast chicken?" said Tom, trying to keep abreast. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted

32
3
"I take joy in the triumphs of my parishioners," said Tom vicariously. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted

33
7
"Even though we 'broke up', she's still my woman!" Tom exclaimed. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted

34
3
"Oh, I eat everything," said Tom in jest. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted

35
4
"Biden is twice the man that Charles is!", Tom said half-jokingly. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
36
0
"Haven't you heard me singing in church?" Tom inquired. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted

37
6
"The French don't deserve our thanks!" said Tom mercilessly. (slrpnk.net)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted

38
2
"Just being allowed to come in is something that I cherish", Tom said enterprisingly. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
39
6
"My name is actually spelled T-O-O-O-M," he said, morosely. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted

40
6
"Should I take the worm off the hook?", Tom was debating (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
41
4
"Can't talk. Busy camping." replied Tom, intent. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted at https://www.reddit.com/r/TomSwifty/comments/dl2ds0/cant_talk_busy_camping_replied_tom_intent

42
1
"Under the mask, I was just a bowl of noodles the entire time!" said the imposter. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

This is the first one I wrote since the reddit blackout.