Funny

They mostly wrap.

Because then it'd be a foot!

I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. Iwithdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down thesink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

I then withdrew thecork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exceptionof one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the thirdbottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I pulled thecork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down theglass, which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next anddrank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled thesink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.

Then Icorked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, countedthe glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which weretwenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally Ihad all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.

I'm not under theaffluence of incohol as some thinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk asyou might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and thedrunker I stand here, the longer I get.

A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

Other than that it's a pretty good car.

I only have my shelf to blame.

Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway. I know he replied, I thought I saw her move!

"Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life," he tells her, by way of poetic concealment.She tells this to her mother, who replies, "Did he say anything about that dead branch they're hanging on?"

Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.

"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," said the beaming boy to his old man.

"Nope," came dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit back here and kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you have been doing to me for sixteen years."

He looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye.

The moaning voice then groaned '14.........14.........14.......14.'

At the store, however, I was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so I complained to the butcher lady.

"Don't worry," she said, "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."

Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the gentleman who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."

The Engineer just wants to take a nap, sohe politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The Programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lottafun.

He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer,I'll pay you $5."

Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get tosleep. The Programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't knowthe answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you$50!"This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this tormentunless he plays, so he agrees to the game.

The Programmer asks the firstquestion. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The Engineerdoesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollarbill and hands it to the Programmer.Now, it's the Engineer's turn.

He asks the Programmer "What goes up a hillwith three legs, and comes down on four?"The Programmer looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptopcomputer and searches all of his references.

He taps into the Airphone withhis modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress.Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The Engineerpolitely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.

The Programmer, more than a little miffed, shakes the Engineer and asks"Well, so what's the answer?"Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the Programmer$5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

As I stood there and watched, her neighbor, who knew me, said, "Well, aren't you going to help?" I replied, "No. Six of them is enough".

sky diving is not for you!

Dunno, they're just a bit shady.

It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.

Look for fresh prints.

are just country music.

It was a waist of time.

but I'm clean now.

They are always negative.

Because he Neverlands.

Remorse Code