this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2023
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Programmer Humor

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I no longer build software; I now make furniture out of wood.

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[–] [email protected] 87 points 1 year ago (3 children)

There was a building site next to our office and I stood at the window and watched the workers. A colleague walked up next to me. We stood there in silence for a while.

Me: "Sometimes I wonder if I should just fuck it all and become a gardener."

Him: "Me too."

Me: "I'm serious."

Him: "Me too."

We briefly looked at each other with expressionless faces. In silence we watched some more. Then we went to the next meeting.

True story™.

[–] PetDinosaurs 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I always thought about going to be a farmer. Then I watched some videos from farmers and realized they are also engineers.

[–] MurrayL 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean, that's basically the main character's arc in Office Space, right? Still rings true.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

What would you do if you had a million dollars?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Can relate. With colleagues we have daydreamed about opening a bar, a bakery, a hostel on the beach, yet we're all still here, pressing buttons to make the lights on the screen change.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The client says: sorry I actually wanted the table legs to be be longer... And curved... And- wait, no, actually I think I'll tell you more later

[–] chemical_cutthroat 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Them: "I want one that looks exactly like this one on this website."

Me: "Sure... but you can just get the one on the website, and it will be cheaper."

Them: "Yeah, about that..."

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They want exactly the one on the website except with every measurement multiplied by 0.893, corner angles that would make Escher blush, and also they want it to stand 4 feet tall with no legs.

Get to work.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can we get it with five legs, with three on one side and three on the other?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Requirements have changed: we need all legs on one side.

[–] Pok 5 points 1 year ago

It'll also need AI.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

I want a table that 100 people can sit around that fits in your average living room. It should also be affordable and made of really high quality materials

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

What do you mean it's going to take weeks? Can't you just use that agile thingy?

[–] PetDinosaurs 48 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A large faction of engineers, especially software-type engineers, have these types of hobbies.

I'm sitting here right beside the heirloom quality (compared to most furniture) coffee table I made in my garage with my nearly complete wood shop.

I make stuff in two ways in my day job. I design something and someone else makes it, or it's just some idea as software.

Engineers are a type. We're just wired differently from most other people.

[–] grue 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So. Many. DIYer/maker/woodworker/machinist/car mechanic/etc. Youtubers are former engineers, especially software engineers.

[–] PetDinosaurs 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Agreed.

I might also argue that those people are all still engineers.

Engineer just means "problem solver". Everyone gets paid for solving problems.

The real question in my head is how far does this go?

Sometimes the problem is that these burgers need flipping. Protein disk translocation engineers? I'm cool with that.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd argue that engineering, like science, is a mindset. If science asks "what" things are, engineering asks "how" to do things

[–] PetDinosaurs 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

A more standard definition in my tenure in academia is that scientists solve problems because they want to know the answer. Engineers solve problems because they want the problem to be solved.

In any case, the difference is just, heh, academic.

I'm very much the latter.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When I was studying computer science I worked couple of summer at a construction site in the USA (illegally, like a good polish boy). It was not nice. It was really boring. I don't know about other people but I like programming because it's a creative process. Solving problems is fun. In physical jobs there's just to much time to think. And yes, programming can also be boring and some physical jobs really creative but in most cases programming is way more creative. If you're programing job is as tedious as laying bricks change jobs.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In humans there's a psychological phenomenon called "crowding out", essentially it's hard for our brains to attach multiple, powerful incentives to one activity. Generally the "lesser" ones get crowded out by the more important one.

I'm still young (26), and still feel the same way about programming, I deeply enjoy it. However, I know programmers who were passionate like me when they were younger, and that passion has been slowly drained as they continue to code professionally, and I've seen it come back when they move into non-programming roles (be it industry change or moving to management).

Generally you won't find yourself wanting to program 40 hours a week, 48-50 weeks a year, for 50 years without a substantial break, and yet that's what capitalism expects of workers. Yet you'll continue to work because there's a more important incentive than passion, money.

You need money to survive (food, shelter, etc.) and your brain understands those are more important than fulfilling a passion, that's why you'll go to work even if you're drained mentally. You'll continue to do that forever so long as you don't have the financial freedom to do otherwise (which is the goal of capitalists, this is why we have COL-based incomes, so as not to overpay people who live in cheaper areas as it'd allow them the freedom to leave).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Totally agree. I myself switched to product owner couple years ago. Now I'm back to programming (I do both actually, come up with requirements and then do the coding) but I agree just coding got really boring. My point still stands tough: switching to a physical job is not a solution. It will be boring and depressing. Switching to more creative positions is better.