this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2023
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childfree

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Hi all,

Just thought I'd share my story real quick. I had a bilateral salpingectomy in March of 2020 (squeezed in just weeks before the big panini). All went well. I healed up and it seemed like everything was fine. Hell, my scars looked great! Well... Over the course of several months, and eventually years, it became clear something happened. I started getting really bad pain in my bellybutton area each month on my period. Then I started actually bleeding from my belly button each month. Then the pain became nearly constant, also coming on during ovulation too. I'm also allergic to bandage adhesives, so you can imagine the nightmare each month when I'd have to somehow manage the bleeding, but that's besides the point.

I'm now recovering from a surgery to remove the endometrial umbilical hernia, which I ignored for far too long. When they did my laparoscopic sterilization, the endo cells migrated where they shouldn't have, and reproduced. I'm childfree af but also an endometrial mess with a 3-4in incision/scar who will no longer have a bellybutton at all after this surgery (too much damage done by the endometriosis—it was not worth reconstruction according to the surgeon). Thankfully I wasn't big on bellybutton piercings, but still, it's unsettling to go in to a surgery not knowing they'll take a whole-ass part of your anatomy off that you're not expecting. It feels like some autonomy was taken from me there, but at the same time, I'd certainly rather have that than the amount of pain I was in.

I say all that just as a cautionary tale and food for thought. I still think that my snip was the best decision I could have made for myself so this isn't a "I shouldn't have done it and here's why you shouldn't either" post. I love being sterile. But I also wish I knew about this VERY MINIMAL but possible risk before I had my original surgery, because when it comes down to it, sterilization is a procedure of bodily autonomy—and everyone deserves to know the possible outcomes even if they're unlikely.

Open to questions. AMA.

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[–] corroded 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'm not going to pretend to understand any discomfort or suffering you went through. You and I do not share the same "parts," so I have no basis for comparison. I will say that I'm sorry you experienced what you did, and I hope that you are either fully recovered or on the road to recovery.

I just wanted to reply to your statement that "when it comes down to it, sterilization is a procedure of bodily autonomy." When I was in early adulthood, I didn't want children, but it's not something I thought much about. As I got older, the fact that I could potentially reproduce started to feel increasingly wrong and disturbing; it wasn't the way that my body was supposed to be. It's why I've always loved the fact that people use the term "fixed" as a replacement for "sterilized." When I finally got my vasectomy, it was a relief. I was "fixed," "repaired," "corrected," whatever you choose to call it. There were some complications, arguably minor ones, but it did require going under the knife again. I was happy to do so.

While I have no idea if your feelings align with my own, you decided to take your life into your own hands and get sterilized. When it's all said and done, the end result will be that your body is closer to the way you want it than before. There might be setbacks, but eventually the end result will be what you want it to be. Just wanted to pass along a bit of hope from a random internet stranger.

[–] maplecat 12 points 1 year ago

Yes, I love this perspective. Thanks for sharing! I also feel like "fixed" is a good phrasing for this reason :)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

I got a vasectomy five years ago, there was a small pain during the procedure which wasn't too bad but one of my testes has a granuloma that can painful even after these years.

I only posted this to say that despite a literal pain in my ball, I also love sterility. Having a kid would be much more of a pain.