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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Interesting_Try5005 on 2023-06-27 13:22:38+00:00.
I'm 30f and I just had my daughter 4 weeks ago. I had an emergency C-section and recovery has been a bit difficult, as I've popped staples out a few times over stupid things like coughing. I'm very, very tired. My husband's boss only granted him a week off after we had our daughter so things have been a bit more difficult but he makes sure that I have everything placed out neatly that I need during the day and has even bought me a mini fridge and portable stove top for our bedroom so I don't have to get up much. He is super hands on when he's home.
Now, I don't mean to be a complete AH here but my SIL has been asking consistently to come over and "take the baby" off my hands so I can sleep. And honestly, I appreciate the gesture but I won't let her. She's the only one that I won't accept help from, for a range of reasons. I've known this woman for 12 years. She is severely overweight (340+), can hardly walk without becoming winded and when I watched her with her niece (my other SILs kid) she would be up walking around while holding this baby as a newborn and it was so unsafe. I vividly remember Sirena's head just flopping around. And now that Sirena is older (9) she tells everyone that she "basically raised her". It's a mental health issue she has because she can't have kids (she got an STD when she was 14 that sterilized her and she doesn't qualify for adoption or even fostering kids). So between her weight and being generally unsafe AND her trying to claim she's raised/is "basically their mom" to Sirena, I won't let her watch my kid for me at all and I don't want her coming here because the one time she did, she overstepped in more ways than one. Ie: everytime I said no to something she refused to take no for an answer because she "knows what she's doing". Like no Jackie, I don't need you to change my kids diaper and it's weird that you desperately want to.
Yesterday she showed up here at 6ish after my husband got home and said "where's my baby?" My husband told her now wasn't a good time because we had just gotten her down to sleep and SIL goes "well good thing my fat makes me feel like an ocean rocking, she will fall back asleep in no time". He said no, she tried grabbing the baby anyways. I flipped out and told her to leave and she says "I just need my baby fix since I can't have babies". So I snapped and said "you're not welcome here anymore. It's not my fault you can't have kids." She left crying and I do feel bad. My husband hasn't said anything to me about it but I think he's pretty upset I said it too.