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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/LogicalSky6901 on 2023-06-27 12:27:51+00:00.
My SIL lives in a fairly large 6bd farmhouse on 10 acres. We are building a home across the street and in the mean time, we have a camper parked on SILs property. The only time we go in to her house is to use the bathroom or shower (we have electricity in the camper but no running water). The rest of the time we are across the street building and our kids (14m, 12f, 8m) are with us helping. We pay SIL $180 a week to park our camper there, which is campground prices.
Late afternoon yesterday my SIL asked us to all come inside to talk and she pulls up her chore list, with my kids names added to it. Things like laundry, dishes, cleaning the living room, sweeping, mopping, cleaning table + countertops, garbage, returnables, even helping cook meals (we do not eat with them), etc. She said "Does this work for you? I won't let anyone clean the bathroom because I'm the only one who does it properly." I immediately said no. My kids don't even go in her house unless they are showering or shitting so if anything, I'd make them clean the bathroom, not the rest of the house that they don't use. I'm not going to be making them do chores to that extent for simply using the bathroom, after they've been helping us all day with building our home. My SIL, who works all the time, says "the kids are in here much more than that because all my snacks are gone and I always come home to a trashed house and I didn't before you guys started staying here". She's clearly not putting two and two together with the fact that her own daughter (12) has had consistent friends over for the past 2 weeks since school let out and her husband (46m) does nothing to parent. Which I brought to her attention. My kids don't eat her food at all either. I've made a point to preach to my kids about minimizing our foot print here for this specific reason (her trying to blame my kids for her trashed house).
My husband is saying that maybe I should just allow her to add the kids to one or two chores a week to keep his sister at bay but I've refused. We pay to be here and we do not go indoors at all unless it's for the bathroom, as I've stated. My kids are not going to be scrubbing her house top to bottom for using a restroom and I have since told my husband we need to create an outhouse system (on our property) so we don't have to go in there at all. He says I'm making things more difficult when in reality, I'm protecting my kids from being used. AITA?