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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Tradwife1029 on 2023-06-27 02:33:37+00:00.
My husband (25M) & I (25F) were together for almost a yr. My dad passed unexpectedly, we broke up, & 4 yrs later we decided to try again. My husband proposed on 2 year anniversary. My family was super involved in wedding planning & at first so was MIL. My husbands little sis/bro were going to be FG/RB. MIL and I came up with cute ideas for them. The day before my dress appts I fractured my ankle. The new date was Easter weekend/weekend before FGs bday. I now know MIL didn't come dress shopping because she didn't want me to out shine FGs bday.
My MIL got distant after starting new relationship. We met up w/ MIL & got on topic of guest list. It came out her ex-husband was invited to wedding bc my husband felt like he was a father figure in his life. MIL wasn't happy. MIL told her dad & next wk he called my husband to meet for coffee. He came home from coffee w/ grandpa & was basically a meet to convince us to not invite ex. MIL was supposed to be paying for rehearsal dinner & nobody else on his side was contributing at all where my side was giving us money to help pay for wedding/very active in planning. If MIL/grandpa was paying for catering/venue & wanted a say in who was invited is one thing but they weren't.
3 wks before wedding MIL says she will only be at ceremony. We didn't want any drama on wedding day. We say ok & tell her to be there 30 mins before ceremony. She asked if we even wanted her to come since she is only there for 1.5 hrs? We said of course we want her to come but she wanted to be there for ceremony & 30 mins before gives her time to do her hair/makeup on her own/would have less chance running into ex.
Its wedding wk. I call vendors for rehearsal dinner/wedding. I call restaurant for rehearsal. They show reservation canceled & was never paid. We were livid. We discussed the issues we had & we decided to uninvite her. We messaged MIL saying since issues with ex being there & rehearsal dinner being canceled w/o us knowing we feel its best she didn't come to wedding. She said it was a surprise. We asked why change location she had us pick out. MIL said we didn't include her in planning & my husband said she distanced herself/became all about her new family/forgot him. MIL denied & said my husband was ungrateful, took screenshots, & removed herself from chat.
1 wk after wedding, we find out MIL went on cruise w/ bf/kids leaving weekend of wedding. We don't know for sure how long she planned this but I work at same place as MIL & u can't request a wk off 2 weeks prior. She bragged to friends she had a trip when wedding was, mos before. We think she planned cruise w/ new family/not being at wedding mos prior. We don't think we are wrong. Are we?