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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwawayaita9779 on 2023-06-27 00:05:51+00:00.
I hardly ever go see my family, as frankly, they think they’re funny when they’re just being rude. Of course, I (25M) am always seen as being sensitive or starting fights, because I was never the right kind of son for them.
My two older sisters, who I will call Amy, (f29) and Brit (f32) are exactly the kind of kids my parents wanted, married before they were out of high school, baby on the way before the year was out, church every Sunday, whatever.
I on the other hand am aro/ace, an atheist, and a heathen to them, because of my job (which I prefer not to talk about here, as it’s rather revealing).
Like I said before I don’t go to family gatherings often, because of how “funny” everyone is. But, recently was my mother's birthday, and I was guilted into going by my dad because in his words “we always tried our best to understand you, and you won’t meet us halfway-“ and that she really missed me. Which all felt manipulative to me, but whatever.
I went, I brought a gift (some glass figurines from a collection she loves) and braced for the worst.
Surprisingly everything went well, at first, there were jokes thrown but nothing that really bothered me, so it was fine. Then Brit said something like;
“Well, I’ll ask the question if everyone else is too scared, how’s dating going, Op?” And laughed.
I didn’t want things to devolve so I just smiled and said something like “Good as ever, how’s your husband doing?”
But she didn’t drop it, and laughed again, offering to set me up with a girl from church, saying maybe she could “screw my head on right”
At which point I got very angry and asked to change the subject.
My other sister asked if I really wasn’t worried about being alone, and said that she just wanted someone to be there to take care of me.
I told her I could take care of myself, I really wanted to change the subject.
My father butted in that everyone should calm down, because he knows I’m just looking for the right woman, to make an honest man out of me, and laughed, along with everyone else at the table, frankly, I felt humiliated and just wanted to get away from these people.
So I stood up, and made my way to the door, my mother following me the whole way, asking me to be considerate “We’re just joking!” And I was so angry I couldn’t stop myself from saying “This is why I never come over you know? None of you can let me have one visit without being made fun of. You’re worse than children.” and left.
Apparently, after I left my mother cried for hours, and my sisters and dad have been blowing up my phone for ruining her birthday over a joke, and demanding I apologize. I do feel bad about making her upset, but why am I the only one being called to apologize? Which is why I’m dragging my feet. If I’m the AH I’ll apologize and try to move past it, but I really don’t understand how I’m the one in the wrong? AITA?