Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/BecomingAQuartet on 2023-06-26 12:47:24+00:00.

Yesterday I had plans to take my son to a water park. I asked my friend's wife, who is good friends with my wife, to stay with her for the day. She can't really be alone right now because of her health. All of these plans were made in advance.

When I got home, my wife was alone with our baby, and her friend was not there. I contacted the friend, who said that my wife cussed her out and told her to get out of her home and her life. I understand that's a lot to put up with, but she didn't even call to tell me she was leaving her alone. She told me she didn't call me because my wife is a grown woman, and everyone needs to stop coddling her.

I said that wasn't her decision, and that I felt betrayed by what she did. She called me a disaster whose life is falling apart and that instead of passing judgement on her I should shut up and listen for once. I didn't mean to offend her; I was just shocked by what she did, but her extreme response makes me think I did something wrong. Was I an asshole for judging her actions?