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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Sufficient_Rice6427 on 2023-06-26 09:05:33+00:00.
So I (17f) have a half sister Leah (10f). Leah and I share the same mom but my stepdad is her dad. My dad died a few months before my mom got married (my parents were not together when he died and I knew my stepdad while my dad was still alive). My stepdad, for years, has tried to take over as the dad in my life. He wanted to adopt me and change my name. He tells people I'm his daughter and that he's my dad. My mom does the same. She was really angry with me for a couple of years for putting an end to the adoption dream. They decided that Leah didn't need to know and so they have always told her we're full sisters and it just took them a while to have her. Leah has often questioned why I call her dad by his name. It has always been something I have told my mom and stepdad they need to fix because I would tell her the truth some day. They said I was not allowed to. That I could see this as a chance to let my stepdad be just my dad and to stop with the childish nonsense that I have been keeping up for the last decade.
Leah grew more and more questioning about it. So a few weeks ago after telling my mom it would happen, I told her the truth. I showed her photos of my dad. Told her I still loved her. But that her dad was not mine. She asked if I disliked her dad. I told her simply he could never replace my dad. She told me she'd feel the same way if hers died and mom remarried. I told her I was glad she understood. She asked me if it made me sad or mad when people said the wrong thing about him being my dad. I said it did. That I didn't like it much but that I tried not to hold it against people.
When my mom and stepdad realized I told Leah they were so angry. I was grounded for three weeks for going against them and for putting Leah in a bad situation. I argued back at the time that they were the ones who lied. My stepdad said it was not a lie because despite legally and biologically not being my dad, he was the one who was there, he would be the one walking me down the aisle one day, he would be grandpa to my future children, he's the one who will have been my dad for more than a decade. I told him he'll always be my stepdad of a decade or two decades or three decades but the step will always be there.
They're still angry and they upset Leah by correcting her and trying to make her call her dad my dad. So I feel bad that now she's got pressure on her for doing what doesn't upset me. It has been pointed out by my mom that it's all my fault.
AITA?