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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Candid-Marzipan-2193 on 2023-06-25 21:19:44+00:00.
I (16f) am the only child in my household who does not call the adults in our home mom and dad. I have two bio siblings ages 14m and 13f. And I have four stepsiblings ages 19f, 14m, 14m and 12f. Mine and my brother's mom died when I was 5. Oldest stepsibling never knew her father. My other three stepsiblings dad still plays a role in their lives but was never big on the oldest and eventually my stepmom left him for that reason.
My siblings call stepmom mom since they only know her as mom, oldest stepsister calls dad that because she never had one and he was willing, younger three call him that because they are not fond of their bio father. But I have never called my stepmom mom. I was only 5 when dad and her moved in together (5 months after my mom died). She's okay. But to me I do not love her like that and I do not want her to be my mom. I have some memories of my mom and find it disrespectful. She's told me before it's never disrespectful and if I had a baby one day, wouldn't I want them to never be without a mom, I told them they'd always have a mom whether I'm dead or alive and I wouldn't want them calling someone else mom. She told me I was too young to get it so I should just follow the flow of the household and start calling her mom.
My dad and stepmom went to a meeting with my school about my IEP and there it was brought up that she was my stepmom because I tell teachers at school and my aid. Always did. But I guess it was brought up for some reason and they hated it. So they sat me down and said if I won't call her mom, then they will try to accept it, though they think she has earned that title after all these years, but they said at least stop saying dad and stepmom and start saying parents. I told them no. That when I say parents I mean my mom and dad. Not dad and stepmom.
Dad told me I was being a difficult little shit and why do I insist on punishing my stepmom for mom's death. I said it's not punishing her. It's doing what feels right to me. Just like the other kids do what feels right to them. He told me he doesn't give a shit about what I feel is right. THEY say what is right as an adult.
Stepmom said my unwillingness to work with them and compromise drives her crazy.
AITA?