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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwaway-5tudent on 2023-06-25 14:37:22+00:00.
I(18f) recently wrote my country's university entrance examinations along with my cousin sister M(20f). This was her second time writing it after she wasn't satisfied with her results last year.
M and I aren't exactly close but meet via family once or twice a month. My dad was always comparing me to my cousin. It was always 'oh your cousin is writing this math olympiad why aren't you' and oh M's doing calculus why aren't you. It felt a little unfair to me since she was older than me and a grade above so of course I didn't know wtf she was studying or writing.
Fast forward to last year-- M fails to do well in the entrance exams and takes a drop year to try again. My dad says something along the lines of 'even M failed you need to work harder' and pushes me like crazy. I would be watching TV and he's say 'I bet M's studying rn tick-tock'.
Finally, our results came out a couple weeks ago and I did great. Better than M. She did better than last year but not great, unfortunately. I won't lie to say I was super happy and not just from doing well in the exams I was happy cause I did better than M and it felt like I finally was the 'better' cousin.
The event in question happened last week at my grandparent's birthday party. They congratulated both me and M. After dinner we started talking about my future plans and stuff and I mentioned what university I had decided to go to and why when M piped up like just absolutely shitting over my plans for no reason. We're talking the most passive aggressive comments about my grades and how I got lucky in the exams. Apparently, she can't picture me in a lab or studying in university and "always thought I'd pick something that suited me more, like becoming a PT teacher" no hate to pt teachers but she said a bunch of stuff that implied I'm a stoopid muscle-head and not suited for academic stuff. Finally, M outright said "you're going to flunk out anyway so why not just clear the way for the deserving students".
To which I replied that sure I'd love to do that and thanked her for her service in improving other students' ranks for two years straight and said 'keep it up!'. She got angry and asked me what I meant and I said she sure was talking a lot for a "20 year old NEET living with her mommy". I did not stop there and we argued for a while. She started sobbing and her parents gave me the dirtiest looks. I got a lecture from pretty much everyone at the table ranging from "be more understanding" to "you need to get over yourself".
Yeah, it may have been years of resentment built up but I feel like it was the truth and she deserved it. I feel sorry for her but I also kinda don't. AITA?