this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2023
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Square-Wrap4520 on 2023-06-23 22:11:36+00:00.


I want an abortion. Abortions are banned where I currently live, so I asked my cousin if I could stay at her for the weekend as abortions are allowed in her state. She agreed, and said it was fine as her husband would be on at a work conference. Her husband can't keep a secret and is a really bad liar, so I don't want him knowing about this at all, as the consequences from this could literally put me in jail. They have recently had a son, and he told our family about her pregnancy when she was was 7 weeks along, athoguh she wanted to wait until she was 12 weeks. I had requested the time off of work and told everyone that I was going to help out with my cousin's son and go see him. I was meant to leave today, and she called me to say her husband's work trip is cancelled and that he will be home that weekend. I asked her to tell him that I was coming over to meet my new nephew, but she said she feels uncomfortable lying to him. She told me I am still welcome to come, but she can't lie to his face about why I am actually there and will tell him if I come. I got upset and said she didn't have to tell him? She said she feels unconfortable 'lying' to his face and that her marriage is important to her and she needs to be honest to him. I understand she is doing me a massive favour by letting me stay at hers, but I don't think she is really thinking of the consequences for me.

eta- I am 22 and not in America. I am from El Salvador and it is illegal. I live with my parents and extended family and she is the only person I know abroad where it is legal and the only excuse I have to leave the country. I can't afford to leave myself and she had paid for the flights.

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