this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2023
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Sorry_Praline_1270 on 2023-06-23 17:24:13+00:00.


I'm estranged from my father simply because he married the mother of the girl who was bullying me when we were 8 years old. He was my only parent and hugely let me down and I will never forgive him for subjecting me to having to be family with someone who treated me badly like that. Even though it did eventually get better, I will never ever claim her as my family and I made sure I cut all legal ties (had two family members adopt me when I turned 18). My father never understood my anger at him or why I refused to at least try to make a family with them.

He is close with his boss and I was in town visiting some family and he saw me. He recognized me from a few years ago and mentioned how he hoped I would be able to attend the next family day at their job. I said that would not be possible as I am no contact with my father now. He was stunned. He asked what happened and mentioned "my sister" and I told him she was not my sister and that she was actually my bully before dad married her mom and that he married this woman knowing her child was bullying me. I told him that made our relationship unsustainable. He apologized and said he had no idea. Apparently he later confronted my father outside of work and was like how could you never say anything and what kind of father are you.

Word is now spreading around people my father knows and works with.

He tore into my family members who adopted me (who are his family members). Then he emailed my very old email account saying I had no right to spill such personal business to his boss and it was petty and childish and shows I have no decorum.

AITA?

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