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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok_Size2553 on 2023-06-21 15:25:38+00:00.
So I (22F) am the eldest of 6 with siblings who are 19, 15, 13 and 10 year old twins. The 19 yo is at uni in another city some distance away. My parents unexpectedly need to go to visit relatives abroad and have asked if I can look after the kids for a week. This is generally fine except 1 day I'm attending a course in another city. I will have to leave my parents house at around 6.40am and won't return until 7 or 8pm. Luckily my bf, who I live with, is off that day and is happy to help. When I told my Mother this she was incredibly appreciative of it and I thought nothing more about it.
Well fast forward to today, two days before they leave, and my Mum asks if bf is ok about getting up so early to get out here (we live in the city, parents out in the suburbs about an hour by bus). I tell her that that's ok, he'll just come through the night before. To say my Mother freaked out is an understatement.
Mum: 'and where exactly will he be sleeping?'
Me: 'on the pull out, with me'
Mum: 'absolutely not! not under my roof!'
Now to be clear, when my bf and I first started dating, on the couple of occasions we did visit my parents together, we did sleep in separate rooms however, my parents always said that that was just because they didn't know him and earlier this year, before we were living together, my entire family rented an Airbnb for a wedding and there were zero issues about me and my bf sharing. Not only was it not a big deal but my Mum specifically did the room arrangements and put us together herself, without any discussion from me so I was pretty blindsided by this reaction today.
I checked the timetable and he'd need to get the bus just after 5am to guarantee he'd be there before I had to leave and presumably my Mother was also expecting him to leave once I returned that night meaning he'd potentially be getting home around 10pm. That is a ridiculously long day imho and far too big an expectation for someone who is doing you a favour. I advised my Mum as such and reminded her about the Airbnb and the fact that WE ALREADY LIVE TOGETHER and she reiterated that 'there will be none of that under my roof'. For the record, the couch is in the living room which has no closable doors, just open archways to the hallway and dining room. As such, there is ZERO chance that we'll be doing anything 'scandalous' over those two nights. I told her this but she still maintained that it's 'her house so her rules'. I told her that I felt my terms were more than fair and if she didn't like them then should find someone else for the week and hung up.
She's been texting calling me selfish and how this now means she'll need to stay behind and that I hope I'm proud of myself. I made it clear that it really doesn't mean that, there's a pretty easy fix here.
Edit 1: Apologies, I deleted a bit for word count but the pullout is my parent's bed. It's in a little recess in the corner. They downsized last year. It's a 2 bedroom and the other rooms are already crowded with my siblings and we'd have to sleep on the floor which I'm also unwilling to do