this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2023
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Dogs

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She knows me since my parents got her. I never lived with them, though. Sometimes she's playful and loving and other times she's angry and trying not to let me into the house.

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[–] Daisyifyoudo 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think the type/breed of the dog is important info missing here. The age also might be helpful to know. But regardless, time is needed to adjust to a new situation. Don't push any interactions and give as much space as needed. After enough time (which will vary greatly from dog to dog) the dog will become more comfortable with your new prescence.

[–] rakakuy 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

She's an akita/husky mix. 3 years old. I arrived a week ago and she was lovely and accepted me. Today, when my parents were gone, she was kind of angry and sad to be left at home with us. She didn't wanna be with me so I let her. When i fed her later this morning that's when she came closer. I fed her, turned around and cleaned the kitchen. After she was finished eating she got very "angry" (don't know the right term) and snarled at me. I almost couldn't walk past her (which I had to to get to my desk). She looked and sounded like she was ready to fight me.

[–] Daisyifyoudo 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

So, that breed/mix is a tricky one. She could be showing agression either to establish dominance or more likely out of territorial protection. Especially if she does not exhibit this behavior when your parents are home.

So I think there are a few avenues available to you, none of which are a quick fix.

  1. Time. It will simply just take time for her to accept you and recognize that you are not a threat to "her family" and her territory

  2. Association. Try to replace the association she has when she sees you. Rather than exhibiting something fearful or territorial, bring her a snack everytime she first sees you. You might be able, over time, to have her associate you with "yummy treat" instead of "intruder"

  3. Body Language. Watch for her body language. Dogs will usually give you fair warning before they commit to aggression. If you start recognizing these patterns it becomes easier to avoid.

  4. Bonding. When you parents are home and the dog isn't acting agressive, try to participate in a bonding activity. Go for walk, maybe be the one to start feeding and giving water so they look at you as a care provider, if there is an activity she likes (like fetch, or being brushed) participate in this activity WITH your parents present.

  5. Regulate Emotions. Easier said than done, but try not to exhibit fear. The dog will sense it and react to it. If you are fearful and can not control your emotions, just remove yourself from the situation until you regain composure

  6. Establish Dominance. This can and should be started in the prescence of your parents. Give commands and reward a positive response.Right now, when it is just the two of you alone, she is the one in charge. Reverse that and she'll feel no need to be aggressive towards you.

[–] JTode 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not expert, just adopted my first big dog, year old labradoodle who wasn't getting enough time from his previous family - they had two kids and then had twins and right now he needs a lot of attention and training which they didn't have the bandwidth for. Wonderful people though and they did the right thing finding us. He has a few barking and playing-too-rough-with-the-tiny-chihuahua-and-cats issues we are figuring out, but overall it's always clear where it's coming from when he's misbehaving and he's a good loving dog in the end. He's also only been here slightly more than a month and I'm told it takes three before they're really settled, so we have high hopes.

Is this when your parents aren't home? Or when they're around? Could mean different things. Some dogs tend to be one-person dogs who tolerate those who live with them and have no interest in anyone else. Breeds affect this kind of thing too.

[–] rakakuy 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

both, when they're around or gone. She lives with my parents ever since she was a puppy. Some days she really enjoys my company as if nothing ever happened.

Good luck and times with your new friend!!

[–] JTode 2 points 1 year ago

Sounds like she's just an old grumper. Good luck reasoning with her to you as well :>

[–] PlasticExistence 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If she likes to fetch a ball or some other toy, then giving her some exercise followed by some basic commands (come, sit) with small rewards for doing what you want will go pretty far.

Exercise, discipline (always positive reinforcement, never ever hit her), followed by affection. She'll see that she can trust you and will relax.

As some others have said, go slow and don't force any interaction. Maybe involve your parents in the exercise and discipline parts.

If she's a rescue, then sometimes they just need time and consistency to come around. You never know what a rescued dog has been through before becoming your pet. Something you were doing or wearing could have set your parents' dog off that was in no way intentional. Not all humans are kind to their animals - some are downright evil. I had an ex-girlfriend who had a sweet black lab who was terrified of men, those wearing hats and boots in particular. With some time and lots of love, he came around.

[–] rakakuy 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank you for your help! I'll try and win her heart when she's in a good mood. It's just confusing because she sometimes really enjoys my presence and some times she gets aggressive.

[–] PlasticExistence 1 points 1 year ago

Yeah that is confusing for sure, but dogs will adapt and will return kindness. Be patient and consistent and it will happen for your dog too!