European Graphic Novels+

You can't help somebody who won't help themselves, and you shouldn't sacrifice anything of yourself to do so.

If the dude has money to pay bills and just doesn't.. Then he's beyond your help.

I´m sorry to hear that and hope he will pay on time. Maybe he has mental issues that keep him from doing it?

That’s a rough situation to be in mate, it sounds like you are doing all that can be done. Do you know if he’s been fine up until recently or has always been like this? Just from the few I’ve known closely around that age it is possible that cognitive degeneration can sneak up relatively undetected. Often it initially only affects limited aspects and is fairly easy for people to mask and present as typical.

Quick reply from me... I've left lemmy and most socials behind, but sparsly come here to lurk bc of the good content.

Yet topics you touch on here cross my previous (current?) field of work so I thought I'd drop my 2ct anyway.

I'd say a good starting point is actually what Calvin actually wants. Did you have clear conversations about that? or did you make assumptions? Bc a lot of helpers (me included) tend to skip that step or just assume they took it.

To prove my point, let's take a step back and acknowledge that your frustrations are legit and deserve acknowledging. It would drive me mad too to be in your shoes. Maby you're not even posting this to ask for help, but just to vent. (see how easy it is to make assumptions on that ^^")

Now comes the less fun part. Please, please! make sure you take care of yourself before you take care of him. I know all to well how much easier it is to be there for someone else (ask me how I became a mental health worker...). It's all to easy to overexert yourself helping someone who might not even be ready to be helped. Either way, there's no point in being there for Calvin if you end up collapsing under the stress.

Now I get that losing your house or even your power is a big f-ing deal, and it's not something I'd wish on anyone. Based on where you live there might be organizations that can support in cases like these. Either governmental, or in the form of peer-support groups. Also uniting the network around a person can do a ton, both in results achieved as well in spreading the load. Assuming there are others of course. If you can't find anything locally, there are also some pretty active communities on Reddit, maby Lemmy too, that function as support groups.

Finally; I'm sorry you're in such a shite situation, and I hope you're taking care of yourself as much as you're taking care of him. I hope everything will work out in the end.

Edit: not so quick reply after all. >.< sorry for the rambling