Asklemmy

Nothing is real. No concept you hold is concrete, actual reality. Our brains weren't built to mold perfectly to the intricate contours of the universe, they were built to make a fast efficient model that does a bit better than our competitors. So, not only can you always be wrong, everyone is always wrong.

This really helps me give people more leeway and understanding. It helps me be kinder, and helps me take the time to understand others more.

A guy walked up to me on the metro once and said "always be wary of unsolicited advice"

Threw me for a loop. But also turned out after processing it, pretty good advice

Exams are a moment to show the examiner what you know. Ergo if you don't know what the answer to a question is, just write everything you know about the question. It got me through my school exams way back when.

"Relax, you're just making pasta."

I used to be a person with massive anxiety for perfectionism. I never wanted to make a mistake, no matter how small. Thanks mom!

I went with my now-wife to Italy several years ago and we did a cooking class. I was learning to make pasta and trying to make the egg well as perfectly round as possible, and the chef teaching us told me that. Weirdly it struck me as super obvious, and it helped me frame my anxiety in a better light. It helped me figure out my anxiety wasn't realistic, and eventually lead to therapy and medications to help.

Now, I use this phrase at work all the time to remind my teams of software engineers at work that it's alright if something isn't working. We don't work with medical systems or nuclear plants. Bugs won't cause the end of the world, so it's not worth panicking over. We're just making pasta.

Don't buy shit you don't need. I'm able to save money.

Treat the future you well. Especially for people who always procrastinate.

Like having a better time management so the future you won't have to worry about stuff. You finish things early so that the future you don't have to be anxious about deadlines. You think of the consequences of your actions before you act.

This also develops a positive feedback. When you are better off because what yourself have prepared beforehand, you thank you self. Then you are motivated to prepare more for your future self.

There's a lot, but here's a couple important ones for me.

Do it right the first time, and it's better to make a mistake than to do nothing at all.

These mostly apply to a work environment, but can apply to real life situations too. Doing these two things will drastically reduce the amount of time you have to repeat something or be called out for lack of action.

Nothing makes me more frustrated than having to redo something or constantly follow up on something because it was never done. Time is a finite resource. Don't waste it

There are things in life that I can control and things that I cannot. And I should plan for both.

Once I realized that, my anxiety and stress levels went down tremendously.

Understand what you really want, then move toward it.

Follow through, then follow up. Doing what you say you will, then follow up to see how it went and if things need changed or updated.

Paraphrasing here: "Remember that terrible thing that happened to you a long time ago? Someday, this thing that's happening now will seem as far away as that thing does now."

It wasn't framed like this. I can't really explain it the same way the advice was given to me because it was attached to a personal story, but that story wasn't really important to the advice. It's essentially just, "this too shall pass," but this framing made it much more meaningful.

This helps me put things in perspective and realize that everything will be OK. When you're in the middle of something difficult, it doesn't always seem like it's going to be OK. Knowing it will makes all the difference.