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When I was 10 I saw a made for TV movie about a boy who accidentally cloned himself. The clone learned quickly, but I thought "wouldn't he have to teach the clone how to pee and take a shower?" So, I imagined how that would play out.
Yeah, it was all downhill from there. I'm surprised I don't have a water-sports fixation.
I should note that I was very sheltered, and it would be 3 years before I discovered what I was doing was called.
I love the idea of accidentally cloning yourself lol. Just happens by accident all the time!
Thanks for sharing, it's really interesting to hear about everyone's experiences. It seems a lot of us were really quite young when we were having these thoughts as well
I always felt attracted to muscular guys. I enjoyed watching wrestling/WWE due to that..
When I was young, dunno exactly what age, but something like 13-16, I had this friend that had a more muscular build than normal and yep, everytime I saw him without his shirt..
Needless to say, muscular guys are still my thing. Sadly, they are hard to come by.
I love that both of us had a thing about wrestling. Even looking at it now it still seems really homo erotic to me to be honest.
There's always the one friend isn't there? My first huge crush was on a friend in school so I asked for skateboard lessons from him so we could hang out lol.
I've known since I was about 9 or 10 but conditioned and learned to repress it since then after being caught in bed with my best friend (crush). Hope that part of me changes one day.
Hey, that sounds not so fun. I hope you're able to find peace one day too.
Thanks. Sucks that even in my early 20s im still afraid to come out to even just coworkers. Everyone likes to say theres no big deal about it anymore but it definitely changes how people see you.
I mean it can do I suppose, it sounds like it's changed how you see yourself a bit perhaps?
I like that saying 'the people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter' in those situations.
I'm sure you'll find a way to be unafraid one day, maybe see if there are any LGBTQ+ orgs near you that can give you some support or a place to talk?
Hope that part of me changes one day.
The repression? Whoever caught you, how did they react?
It was his mom and she was not really mad just disappointed in him which feels worse. Theres other details but really I just remember the negativity I recieved. Since then I never really got over it.
Third grade π I still remember the name of the boy I had a crush on back then. Didnβt come out until senior year highschool.
Really crazy that most of us were really young when having thoughts but didn't say anything for a long time.
I still remember the name of my first crush too, and if I see anyone that looks like him even now I'm pushing 40 I am still instantly enamoured with them lol.
Doing 100s of βam I gay testsβ was a sign in hindsight
Lol, yeah that might be a sign of something π€£
When I was prepubescent I was very "jealous" of some boys. I remember a boy in 5th grade that had almost abs and I couldn't stop thinking about them or him for some reason.
I knew what gay was, but it was outside the range of possibilities. Gay people were evil and fruity and effeminate and molested kids and lived in San Francisco and weren't Christians. I'm a good Christian boy that's normal so I can't be gay. Although my classmates certainly thought I was gay and let me know all the time.
When I started masturbating, because I was a good boy, I'd look at PG-13 porn. I'd literally Google things like "girls in bikinis". This was in sixth grade.
Going into 7th grade... I started straight up having crushes on guys and even having sex dreams. We had to start changing in gym. I really really liked changing in gym. I even liked that sweaty smell. My "porn" started to become things like "Aaron Carter shirtless" or "boys wrestling bulges".
I would rationalize it in my mind - I just like the male form... It's just "hero worship" because those boys are so much hotter than me... It's just a phase... I haven't met the right girl yet.
Going into high school I sort of just accepted that I was gay.
That self-acceptance didn't really help. I was a 100% virgin until I was 24.
When I was 24 I was (and still am) really really depressed. I had gone from slightly chubby boy to morbidly obese man. I weighed 315.
There was a guy, my age, that I had a crush on at work and would think about constantly. He was pretty masculine and straight acting for lack of a better word but there were little hints here and there that he was gay and that made my crush that much more intense.
I felt so disgusted with my body that I never really approached him or tried to flirt or anything like that... But he unkowingly motivated me to lose 75 lb in 6 months. I'm 6'4 so 240 lb is still little chubby but it's in the realm of normal.
With new found confidence we started flirting through instant message and texts... Before you knew it we were in the backseat of my car making out and I was jerking him off. This started a sort of casual relationship with going out and jerking and sucking.
After a few months he got a new job and moved away. Sad face.
I thought that was going to be a jumping off point into being a normal person. Instead I went back in my shell. Shot back up to 360 lbs. Never tried an app or dating or anything in the 10 years since.
Wow that was a ride. I can really relate to your soft core porn stuff lol. I used to use the underwear section of the clothing catalogue, going through the underwear section in the shops was intense after that though!
Sorry you didn't jump off into the world of dating and apps and all that. You said that he motivated you, but it sounds more like you motivated yourself because you saw something you wanted. I've got faith you can do it again if you want to, you're still you and haven't lost anything you had then (except maybe some eye candy).
It can be hard to motivate ourselves after some time but honestly the first step is always the hardest π
@[email protected], I suggest you change your title to something like "When did you know you were gay?". Many people are still using the "All" feed.
It was probably the underwear aisle for me π
Or that long car ride where I pretended to be asleep to bury my face in an older cousin's crotch. I was maybe 13. Looking back, I was probably not discrete as all.
Didn't mess around with other guys until college, and didn't fully come out until 23. Immediately after, I put together the first gaybro meetup in Philadelphia.
I'm having this vision of a kid walking through the underwear aisle, his eyes getting wider and wider with the realisation of what's going on.
Wow you really came out didn't you? From in the closet to organising meetups!
Until I found a box with a ginger on it and then I just held it and STARED!
Aiming to get gayer every day since π
Ah! The elusive ginger male model, truly beautiful in their natural habitat. Pants.
