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'I felt like a freak because I didn't want children' (www.bbc.co.uk)

submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by [email protected] to c/childfree

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[–] Lemming421 45 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You can’t get yourself sterilised in case some future man wants to use your baby factory.

Chilling.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

This happened to me in the USA. I told the doctor I want to be sterilized and neither my husband nor I wanted kids.

He told me it would be unethical. My husband might die and then my new husband would want children. I told him I would not change my mind, and such a man would be incompatible for marriage with me. He told me I’d change my mind. So basically, yes some hypothetical future man would want to use me for a baby factory, that’s why I can’t be sterilized.

I was 30. I’m older now, still don’t want them. I’m too ashamed to ask again for sterilization. My husband has a vasectomy scheduled soon (weird how a doctor had no problem doing that for him. Wonder what the difference is????)

[–] Wizard_Pope 9 points 7 months ago

I think the doctor thinks of your husband as a baby factory manager and as he wants the baby factory out of operation it is his choice. Now if he died a new manager could start up the factory again. I know this is extremely fucked up and there is no reason you should not be able to get sterilised but it is a fucked up world we live in.

[–] what_was_not_said 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Get that OB/GYN's statement in writing and then report him.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

It was years ago.

Easier said than done, anyway. I was just shocked he said that. I'm sure if I wanted his statement in writing he would have written something like "I don't recommend this for women who have not yet had children because there are plenty of other effective treatments like [etc]" and nobody would care.

Someone at my work was told something similar by a different doctor (in a different state!) that he wouldn't sterilize her because she wasn't married. She had 3 children already in her mid twenties.

Pushing back on this stuff is a battle that shouldn't have to take place on the personal level. We're going backwards in women's healthcare in America, too.

[–] TheFunkyMonk 1 points 2 weeks ago

Wtf. I told the doctor I would rather be alone forever than have a kid in the consultation before my vasectomy and was snipped 15m later.