this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2024
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Ask Me Anything

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Ask Me Anything (AMA) Community Rules and Guidelines

This is the lemmy.ca AmA.

Welcome to the Ask Me Anything (AMA) community! This is a space where individuals from various backgrounds come together to engage in open and informative discussions. To ensure a respectful, enjoyable, and inclusive experience for everyone involved, we have established the following rules and guidelines:

  1. Be Civil and Respectful:

    • Treat all participants with respect, regardless of their background, expertise, or opinions. Personal attacks, insults, or derogatory language will not be tolerated.
    • Engage in constructive conversations, even if you disagree with the person answering the questions. Focus on addressing their responses or providing alternative viewpoints without resorting to hostility.
    • Remember that the participants are sharing their knowledge and experiences voluntarily. Appreciate their time and effort.
  2. Practice Politeness and Courtesy:

    • Use polite and considerate language when asking questions or engaging in discussions.
    • Be patient and understanding if the person answering takes time to respond. They may receive a high volume of questions.
    • Avoid spamming or repeating the same question multiple times. Give others a chance to ask their questions as well.

-Use NSFW and trigger warning TW in brackets if you talk about sensitive subject.

  1. Respect Boundaries and Privacy:

    • Do not ask personal or invasive questions unless the participant explicitly invites such queries.
    • If a participant declines to answer a question or requests to move on from a topic, respect their boundaries without pressuring them for a response.
    • Avoid sharing personal information or disclosing sensitive details about yourself or others.
  2. Be Inclusive and Stand Against Discrimination:

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    • Be mindful of your language and the potential impact it may have on others. Avoid offensive slurs or derogatory terms.
  3. Avoid Spam and Irrelevant Questions:

    • Ensure your questions are relevant to the participant's expertise or field of knowledge.
    • Avoid posting low-quality or repetitive questions that add little value to the discussion.
    • Respect the purpose of the AMA and avoid using it solely for self-promotion or advertising.
  4. Engage in Meaningful Discussions:

    • Prioritize thought-provoking and insightful questions that foster engaging conversations.
    • Be open to different perspectives and use the AMA as an opportunity to learn and broaden your understanding.
    • Jokes are allowed as long as they are respectful, appropriate, and do not target or marginalize specific individuals or groups. -If you are sarcastic, we recommend to use /s to be sure there is no confusion about your intention. Fake sarcasm will be found.

Remember, these rules and guidelines are in place to ensure a positive and informative environment for all participants. Failure to comply may result in 3 strikes warnings, temporary restrictions, or permanent bans at the discretion of the moderators.

in the future, a mod check and balance system might be implemented . Subject to change : [You might appeal your ban by contacting a special appointed moderator to judge if the ban was abusive.

Special appointed mod can create jury like conversation with randomly chosen users with jury votes to decide if bans are legit or not.]

Thank you for being a part of the Ask Me Anything (AMA) community. Let's engage in enlightening discussions, share knowledge, and create an inclusive space that values respect and diversity!

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Disclaimer: like most pedophiles, I have never approached a child with anything sexual or otherwise inapporpriate, and I don't plan ever to do so. I recognize the harm in such actions, and I don't want to hurt the very people I love. If you expect AMA with a child molester, this ain't it.

The account is a throwaway, hope you'll understand this decision given the sensitivity of the topic.

Edit: Thank you for keeping civil and genuine in your questions. I did envision hostility, yet here you are, amazing as always. Lemmy is a wonderful place to be, thanks to you all!

Edit 2: Apparently we have another brave pedophile here in the comments, and he came with a good note I should include in the post: if you find yourself attracted to minors, that's okay. Acting on your desires is dangerous, but having them isn't. If you'd like to have some support and/or community that would help you get your bearings or just listen without any prejudice (we're all in the same boat), there are places that can help you. Visit VirPed (18+) or MAP Support Club (13+; scroll down for details), or refer to other resources through the MAP Resources website.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago (2 children)

When discussing paedophilia, the primary focus should be on how to protect children.

I've always felt our discourse on paedophiles to be less about that, and more about punishing people who haven't done anything wrong.

I've always considered the adage; is it better to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature?

At the risk of comparing children to meat, I think being an ethical paedophile is similar to being vegan. You're controlling your selfish desires so you don't cause unnecessary suffering to another.

I don't have any questions for you OP. But good on you for being a good guy. I'm sorry your brain got wired wrong.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Hi there! I'm not OP, but I am also a pedophile.

I'm going to "yes, and" you on your first point there: the primary focus should be on protecting children, and one of the best ways to do that is by providing support to pedophiles. Many pedophiles discover their attractions between the ages of 12 and 17. Most of them never talk about it with anyone (I certainly didn't). According to research, this puts them at increased risk of commiting a contact offense against a child. It also I creases the risk of suicide. Many teen pedophiles kill themselves when they realize what they're attracted to. Getting support, either from a therapist or from anti-contact peers, diminishes those risks significantly.

You are correct that the way society is currently designed, a lot of the ways we "protect children" has nothing to do with protecting children and everything to do with persecuting pedophiles. Society would much rather have us incarcerated, or better yet dead. It would solve the problem of our existence pretty cleanly. But that's not realistic, and people only want that for the unknown boogeyman idea of a pedophile. Not for their son or daughter or cousin or parent or friend.

Your comparison to veganism is apt. Anti-contact MAPs are content with using ethical, non-harmful outlets that don't hurt anyone.

Thank you for your sympathy (you said to OP, put presumably to all pedophiles), but I'm not sad about what I am anymore. It's been a very painful journey, but it's shaped me into a very kind, empathetic, caring person. I am happy with who I am.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This may be a weird comparison but its just like with illegalizing drugs.

Putting people in jail for being sick is so fucked up and causes the opposite of whats wanted, plus the extra damage to innocent people

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Yeah! It's similar, though not quite the same. We aren't sick, pedophilia isn't a mental illness. You can treat and cure drug addiction, but we aren't addicted to anything. We have a sexual attraction. Often, therapy looks like helping us to accept our attractions and ourselves for who we are. There may be other elements too, like victim empathy and things like that for pedophiles who struggle with impulse control, but on the whole it's acceptance. Many of us start out pretty revolted with our attractions just like an everyday teleiophile would if they suddenly woke up and found themselves attracted to children.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Sure thing - protecting children is the highest priority.

And currently, protecting children and helping us combat stigma go hand in hand. At the very least, in a part where we could open up about our issues without fear and get professional help if needed.

I, too, like the veganism analogy. As per "brain wired wrong" - previously I would refer to my situation just the same way, but when you live with it long enough, it becomes normal, and the curiosity sparks not on "why am I like this", but rather "why others are different". Regular people find children cute, beautiful, lovely. But then, when it comes to actually feeling something for them, people just don't. This always made me feel weird. But yes, your case is the norm, and ours is exception - probably for the better :)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

What I'm saying wasn't to imply that there is a difference between protecting children and any other measure, but more about the primary focus for many people tends to be "all paedophiles get the noose".

A lot of things which may prevent real world harm are often not even considered because of the "ick factor". The way society views this issue is detrimental to child safety.

For what it's worth, my brain is wired wrong, I have ADHD. It's not to imply people with bad wiring deserve any less compassion. But people with bad wiring are suffering in their own ways, and they deserve professional help.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

I get your points, thank you for additional clarification!