weirdway

Ah, another discussion thread. :) Cool, time to ramble.

I've been really really enjoying the recent times. I got access to some legal cannabis again, and I've been exploring what is possible with it a second time. So I am leaning toward a conclusion that it's basically like a psychological microscope. That's not a novel idea by any means. I've seen this idea mentioned on r-psychonaut. I notice it also very much follows intent. So if I am absorbed in some activity on a relatively low dose, it's like I am not even high. Nothing interesting happens. On the other hand, with that same dose, as soon as I focus my mind a certain way I am high again. And another thing is that this "highness" seems pretty arbitrary. The more I focus, the crazier it gets.

So I've had some sessions where I've focused pretty intensely and I experienced unusual for me degrees of concentration and a very clear ability to think at the same time, so I could see exactly what was going on. I got into some absurdly deep places in my psyche and I have touched upon what some of my very hidden fears were. I mean, the kind of life I really want to live eventually, a life of manifestational power, it's no joke. There is sooooo much psychological baggage in my mind that gets in the way, and concentration + cannabis make it so obvious when I focus properly.

The biggest thing I have found is that I still live outside myself. I still think in a way that often requires me to resolve all my stories to some seemingly external standard. On the other hand, I also got a much clearer sense about what it would mean to completely shift the center of spiritual gravity inside myself and it was awe-inducing (I was going to say "awesome" but that word has come to primarily mean "really good"). I definitely want it. But it's easy to see how this might take a bit of further adjusting for me to get used to further shifts in my own mentality.

There was one moment when I concentrated so well, I could feel my entire experience becoming like malleable jelly. I started hearing strange super-wide echos from sounds that I "knew" should conventionally not have such echos. I started to be aware of a "place" inside me where if I adjust myself, I could make the experience flow in a radically different way, but then this is what also was so awe-inducing. I could feel what it would feel like to start treating all of manifestation as a joke and as a play thing.

I played with a bunch of concepts, because concepts are so magickal and powerful. Currently a really fascinating concept I like is the one of taking a VR (virtual reality) headset off. I've had this idea for a long while and later this idea was reinforced for me when I listened to Tom Campbell as well. And the idea goes like this, in two steps:

1. First I get myself to feel like everything I am experiencing is a result of a special "headset" that I am wearing. I get myself to feel like I am looking into a gameworld, basically, of a really really advanced game that is able to render smells, tactile sensations and so forth. I first try to get this sense of my experience being virtual stabilized a bit before getting to the second point.

2. Then I focus on what it is like in my "real room" so to speak, in the place where I am "sitting" when I am playing this virtual reality game here. That "room" is obviously completely outside this entire world. It's a very interesting experience.

Also, I mean this mostly metaphorically, because I am not visualizing a literal headset, for example. The idea is to get a feel for what it might be like to live in a space that is outside this world while at the same time subjecting myself to an experience of this world with its own separate space. It's a pretty wild feeling.

I though that if I trained myself to "take the VR headset off" really well, it could become an astral projection technique. I'm just having fun playing around with this, so I am not committed to training this into an AP technique, at least so far. For now, I am more interested in figuring out what is happening on deeper levels of myself, the levels that I ignore or pretend aren't "there". Once I get a much better idea about the inner content that I tend to keep overlooking, I think I will naturally know what kind of further techniques will be suitable for me, if any.

Originally commented by u/mindseal on 2018-07-30 07:16:48 (e398bsm)