this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
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Hey Folks!

I've been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19€ bill? Here's a 20, keep this change.

Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there's a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don't know how much has changed in this regard.

The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.

So will AITA if I don't tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (30 children)

So will AITA if I don’t tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

ABSOLUTELY NOT Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. It is and should be employers job to pay their workers a living wage in a rich country not the buyers.

Culturally, there will be people who will look down on or say nasty things to you if they find out you do not/did not tip. This happened to me. Some of the nasty comments (these are not said by the employees) people say are "The employees will remember this and may spit in your food or tamper with it in some way next time you order, which has got to be illegal for health code reasons for employees to do and is guilt tripping on the person who says this comment. Not only that, but those who say such awful things are continuing the nasty treatment of employees by the ruling class by saying such nasty remarks.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (27 children)

If it should be the employers job to pay a living wage, why would you take it out on the employee? Most establishments in the US pay waitstaff way under minimum wage ($2-$3 per hour). If you don't tip your waiter at an establishment like this, you are basically denying that waiter their wage, and it has no effect on the employers bottom line. You should be prepared to tip, otherwise don't go at all.

And for the record, I agree with your first statement: the owners should be paying their employees a living wage. Tipping as a practice should be largely eliminated. However not tipping doesn't help that situation, it just hurts the employee. If you want it to change you should boycott restaurants that do this and be an advocate for fair wage laws.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Most establishments in the US pay waitstaff way under minimum wage ($2-$3 per hour). If you don't tip your waiter at an establishment like this, you are basically denying that waiter their wage

I don't think you know how "minimum wage" works. It's not a suggestion, it's a legal requirement. If your tips don't make you at least minimum wage, your employer is required to make up the difference. If they're not doing that, talk to a lawyer, that's a slam dunk case. You'll get back pay.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's all good in theory, but in practice? Look up statistics on wage theft in the restaurant industry (hell, look up wage theft as whole in the US), and you'll see that many, many workers go under paid.

And even if employers always met the minimum wage, the minimum wage is far less than a "living wage," in this country.

Again, I want to stress that the practice of tipping is absolutely outdated, and should be removed. My point is simply that not tipping your waiter does more harm to them than their employer.

We should be encouraging these places to unionize, and demand that their employers pay them fairly.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Totally agree that minimum wage is not as high as it should be. No disagreement there. My point is that workers in the restaurant industry are not uniquely able to make below minimum wage. Any employer can break the law and pay under what they're legally required to, not just in the restaurant industry. And yet we're saying that the onus for making sure this doesn't happen in the restaurant industry uniquely falls on the customers. That's just not a reasonable argument to make.

It's identical to shifting the blame for climate change from corporations to individuals. It's not a customer's fault for not tipping any more than it's Joe Schmo's fault for having a gas heater, poorly insulated house, and having to commute an hour every day in a gas car. Both can only effectively be solved through regulation.

We should be encouraging these places to unionize, and demand that their employers pay them fairly.

Totally agree.

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