this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
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Asklemmy
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The lack of "Lemmy etiquette" is basically the whole point of the project. There is no general rule. There are places for shitposting, there are places for serious discussion. The civility fetishists get their corner, the people who enjoy replying to bigots with pigpoopballs.jpg get their corner. There is a niche for everybody - and if there isn't - you can start one without being completely isolated from the rest of the network (at least, initially).
The situation on Reddit was absurd. The "Reddiquette" rules were generally okay, but very open to subjective enforcement. I spent many years on Reddit. I browsed a lot of different communities on there. But if one person on a community I browse makes a post saying "look what this asshole is saying" on another community I browse, and I go there an make an insightful comment, I am now "brigading." If somebody wants to politely debate whether trans people have a right to exist, or whether or not we should send the homeless to concentration camps, and I tell them to fuck themselves, I am being "uncivil."
Communities need mods and admins who have their back, not mods who become cops for the admins who become cops for the board of directors who only care about increasing KPIs and profit. The coolest thing that can happen on the Fediverse is landing in a place where the admins will eat a block or two to defend the integrity of their communities. This is something which is simply impossible on Reddit.
I should've known it was the beginning of the end of my time on reddit when I commented "well if people are gonna start flying Russian flags on their trucks here in the USA I'll be keeping a baseball bat in the trunk of my car" shortly after the invasion of Ukraine began - specifically non-violent, and if they'd have been able to read my mind, the intent was so I could smash the windows out of their truck not actually beat the shit out of them, and I received a 3-day ban from the whole site for "advocating violence" or whatever the fuck it was called. I took a looooong break from reddit after that as I was honestly pretty disgusted an admin essentially supported Russia by banning me for my benign comment, but found myself there again.
Without RIF I'm definitely never going back.
Double Edit: removed my previous edit as it was based on reddit tendencies I need to get over haha
Gonna say that comment sounds very nationalistic and xenophobic to me. Would I ban you for it? No. But you'd definitely get a warning if I was the mod.
Unless you're doing the same thing for anyone flying the US flag, that's just standard hypocrisy.
I don't think Lemmy supports Russia. It's very anti-imperialism in general, which is a good thing! But, Americans advocating for violence exclusively against other imperialist symbols just smacks of double standards, ya know?
It's a shame, I had written a whole large reply earlier around lunch time, only to realize at the end of it that closing my keyboard on mobile completely backed out of my comment I had been writing. I'll try to get the same reply across now and make sure not to close my keyboard haha.
I get how it can appear nationalistic, but it was less than a month after Russia had invaded Ukraine, and I was still very, very upset about all the war crimes (and war at all to begin with) that Russia was committing against Ukraine. Definitely don't get me wrong; I have issues with just about every military action the USA has taken too; I don't like this country but I was born here and have no real way to get out.
But you're right, I look down on folks flying the American flag on their vehicle, but I wouldn't want to smash their windows out. Maybe that's something I need to work on about myself, and it's something I'll try to think about from now on. I was raised as a frothing-at-the-mouth almost-fascist conservative, listened to fox news and rush limbaugh with my parents growing up. I feel extremely lucky to have broken free from the brainwashing, but the rage... It's my personal hypothesis that I have a rage problem, especially about politics, because of right wing media. And despite me realizing they're in the wrong, and becoming what my parents would consider a "radical socialist" (ie probably moderately liberal for the entire rest of the world lol), the rage has always stayed, just redirected against the people I learned it from. It is however something I have been working on, and continue to work on. That comment is not something I think I would say again today, I'm fortunate for having made that progress.
Finally, a warning is absolutely reasonable, and is pretty much exactly what I expected to happen in the worst case scenario, because I knew I was pushing it with that comment in regards to violence, but my rage at the time said it was acceptable with all the atrocities the Russian government had been committing (and continues to of course). Definitely not blind to the atrocities the USA has committed and is committing either though.
But it's very nice to hear actual constructive feedback etc.; As I'm sure you know on reddit you'll only ever get blind support or hateful attacks it seems. I'm really enjoying Lemmy so far and hope it can continue to broaden my mind and help me discover biases and prejudices I don't realize I have.