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Turns out Capri Sun and Sunny D were considered healthy back then because they weren't soda.

Nobody told my parents that. I wasn't allowed Sunny D "because it's loaded with sugar." I was allowed a Capri Sun once in a great while, if I was attending a friend's party or something.

My parents made me chug milk all through my childhood, though. I was raised on skim milk, which is essentially milk-flavored water, since my mother was on a constant diet.

I found out in adulthood that the "milk is good for strong bones" thing was a complete advertising lie; in reality, the more milk you drink, the more brittle your bones get. That explains how I've broken 9 bones in my childhood, despite drinking almost nothing but milk.