this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2023
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My story didn't end with me marrying her but she told me after she broke up with me a decade ago about how she's always attracted to people smarter than her in the given context of her life, but then she did also kiss me a couple times in between relationships (we were neighbours until recently), so I guess she did like me more than just that but it was damn hard for me because she was my first love and my second "love" didn't pan out at all.
Fingers crossed a third love works out, as much as currently my second "love" is still on my mind.
I didn't get married until the fourth person I ever said "I love you" to, the fifth or sixth I ever dated. You just keep going until you have grown and learned enough and you find someone you're compatible enough with.
Maybe it'll be number three, but it's also totally fine if it isn't. Setting the expectation though is kind of setting yourself up for failure. When you simply want whoever is your third love to work out, you may compromise your values simply to fulfill the goal of finding someone, not the right one.
It was just a throwaway line tbh, I'm more worried about my age than the chronological position of my marriage partner in the list of my romantic partners 😅
Though, even with my age, it's more of a societal expectation bothering me than my own need for a romantic partner, still would be nice to have one