this post was submitted on 10 Jun 2023
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Am I the Asshole?

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AITA for telling my sister her ring was sketchy?

This happened a while ago and is potentially an ongoing issue, so I figured I could kick us off.

This is between me (31F) and my sister (36F).

I'm studying to become a gemologist. I've completed about 90% of the coursework and have a ton of new knowledge and even a decent amount of practical experience. I don't make myself out to be an expert, but I definitely know a lot more than the average person and maybe even some jewelers.

So my sister and I were talking on Zoom and I mentioned something cool I saw recently. She said "Oh! I have this ring and it's a star opal, what does that sound like to you?" Completely automatic, unfiltered, I replied with "Sketchy." She got a little annoyed and told me she would get it so she could show me (through Zoom.) Thing is, star opal isn't... real. Not in the same way that you see star sapphires. They don't have the crystal structure or formation conditions for it. So she shows me via zoom and I say "That's really pretty, but I really don't think that's opal since they don't form that way, maybe it's something else." She got defensive and said that her friend got it for her in Thailand (not confidence-inspiring tbh) and that it was just something I haven't seen before. I ended up telling her I'd look at it the next time I see her or something.

AITA for calling my sister's ring sketchy? WIBTA if she shows it to me again of her own volition and I tell her what it actually is (probably glass)?

#amitheasshole

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

@BabushkaCat

Thing is, star opal isn't... real.

The GIA seems to differ. They're rare, but they're definitely real, and they've been found in Thailand.

On balance you're very probably correct that her ring isn't star opal simply because of how rare they are, but still, slight YTA for jumping to conclusions immediately without taking a look at the stone first.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

@Destructdisc
"It may also display asterism, though star opal has only been reported from Idaho."

Me: "Thing is, star opal isn't... real. Not in the same way that you see star sapphires."

I was saying the same thing. The asterism in her "star opal" looked like a star sapphire, not one that you would see on a star opal. It also doesn't say in the article that it comes from Thailand?

ETA: I didn't get into the long bits in the post, but the stone on her gem was actually a cat's eye that split into different rays in the sun (which happens when cat's-eyes get hit with two different points of light.) Cat's-eye opal definitely exists for sure, but it comes in a kinda yellowish green to orange (brown), not very light blue.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

@BabushkaCat Oh yeah no definitely, star sapphires are like that because of crystal structure, star opals are like that because of impurities. Totally on the same page here. I'm glad we could come to an understanding :D

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