this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2023
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13
Am I love bombing? (self.mentalhealth)
submitted 2 years ago by NineBrowsing to c/mentalhealth
5 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

First of all, this might be the wrong community to post this on. I would appreciate it if someone could point me to a more appropriate one were it the case.

I've been made aware of this manipulation technique on social media and I sort of saw some of my behaviours, so now I'm wondering: have I "love bombed" someone? I am looking at this with hindsight as our relationship is now over.

I've met this person online and we really hit it off, we had fun chatting and we did a lot of it, any free time we had was a good time to talk. After some time we started dating (long distance) and I complimented them a lot, I said "I love you" a lot and we spent a lot of time in calls and texting.

I never got mad at them for any reason, we only fought towards the end and I never felt bad when they went out with friends or spent time with somebody else. I did have the chance to hang out with their friends as well and I enjoyed it.

So how do I know if all those compliments and all those "I love you" were somehow manipulative? I loved them a lot and I grew to depend on them. How do I know if the things I said were actually hurting them psychologically and, if they were, how can I get better? How can I make sure to never do such a thing again?

If you have any questions I will do my best to answer

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That's not love bombing. Did you love them as a means to an end? Did you try to get something specific from them in return? No? Then don't worry. Seems you just loved them, that's life.

[–] NineBrowsing 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

No, I never wanted anything in return but as things started to get bad, past the point of no return, I have been told by a few of their friends that I was manipulative and that they didn't believe I had good intentions, and I have been wondering if there was truth to it since then

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

It sounds like you were simply in love, doing loving things. Maybe you panicked a bit when you realised it was ending and tried for things not to end? It sounds very human and I think you are being too hard on yourself.