this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2025
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For me, it's easy to not fear it when I'm healthy, but as soon as I have health problems, I get this strong fear of mortality. It's a visceral thing though. In my mind, I know it's fine, it's inevitable, and there has never been a better time in history for medical treatment. But the fear I feel is separate from that rational knowledge. That is what's hard for me to harmonize. There is an anxiety underneath it all. And the funny thing is I never used to get that either, but after my brother committed suicide, I have had this visceral, mortal fear.
Daily meditation has helped me identify the feelings, but has not helped much in overcoming them. It has helped me find peace among them, which is a decent middle ground.
The mortal fear also helps me clearly prioritize things in my life, so it does have its benefits.