this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2025
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exchristian

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Or does it?

I know we were once nothing, but it is still terrifying and depressing to me to think about returning to this. In fact, as of late, I've been unable to not think about it: the loss of all experience and all memories of everything, forever. All the good times we had, and will have, with anyone or anything ever will totally annihilate into nothingness. All our efforts will amount to nothing because the thoughtless void is ultimately what awaits everything in the end.

The only argument against this would have to be supernatural, like another cause of the Big Bang or somehow proof of reincarnation, but if my consciousness won't exist for me to experience it, then what does it matter either way?

There is no comfort in Hell, either. The anvil of death weighing down, infinitely, on all values and passions is becoming unbearable for me, so I could really use any potentially helpful thoughts about this matter.

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[–] friend_of_satan 2 points 1 day ago

For me, it's easy to not fear it when I'm healthy, but as soon as I have health problems, I get this strong fear of mortality. It's a visceral thing though. In my mind, I know it's fine, it's inevitable, and there has never been a better time in history for medical treatment. But the fear I feel is separate from that rational knowledge. That is what's hard for me to harmonize. There is an anxiety underneath it all. And the funny thing is I never used to get that either, but after my brother committed suicide, I have had this visceral, mortal fear.

Daily meditation has helped me identify the feelings, but has not helped much in overcoming them. It has helped me find peace among them, which is a decent middle ground.

The mortal fear also helps me clearly prioritize things in my life, so it does have its benefits.