Mental Health
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You seem to have your mind made up that things can never get better, so I don't think there is anything I can say to you that will get through. But the fact that you posted something online rather than keeping it to yourself makes me think that there's still a part of you that doesn't feel that way. I think reddit banned you because, well it's reddit (what did you expect?) but also because you're acting like you're the only person who struggles with this sort of stuff, which can make other people feel invalidated.
Anyway, I think you would do well to consider that you may have a distorted view of yourself and the world because of your experience so far. If you've lived your whole life in the arctic, it's easy to believe the whole world is frozen.
If your family is cruel to you, that's unlucky that you were born to them, but it says nothing about you. And just because you've never found people who accept you YET, doesn't mean that you won't. You can choose not to believe it, but there ARE people who don't care about things like status or social skills, and who are genuinely caring. I know because I'm friends with some. I can't really recommend anything in particular, because I don't know you or what your life is like. I will say that the reason people recommend hobbies isn't because it can really fill a void in you, but because you could use it to meet people like you. And any group that is more marginalized or countercultural is likely to be more openminded.
Like you were saying, you're in a cycle that's hard to break out from. (no friends -> poor social skills -> harder time making friends. bad life situation -> depression -> harder to change your life ) Personally, I'm in the process of pulling myself out of a similar sort of cycle. It's easy to see yourself as worthless because of where you are in life, but that's a bit of an illusion. You're currently the worst version of yourself right now, because you're running on empty. The best version of yourself isn't some abstract impossibility that you missed your opportunity for, it's actually just you with a full tank and some time. Dismantling all of the negative cycles you're stuck in is extremely difficult, and setbacks are an expected part of the process. But you're not doomed to live the rest of your life as you are now.
Hey again. Please don't see this as a negative comment, but I really want to take the time to dig into the message they sent, since you were immediately shown negativity in that other post, and this person genuinely seems to show care. You may be misreading their comment as malicious or inherently negative.
I want to note that they noticed your efforts to escape this torment in their second sentence, and then made a statement (while calling out reddit for their ban-happy approach,) noting that you're not alone and that countless of us are going through it too. To note: That one commenter from your last post was way out of line from not paying attention to the community your post was in, and how varied all of the communities here are on Lemmy. Unfortunately, sometimes people don't pay attention when scrolling all, and chime in to conversations where their input does more harm than help... but that's a bit unavoidable with anything freely accessible online it seems. It's not the norm, albeit that was super unfortunate that it happened during your first attempt at being vulnerable here.
The next bits may be harder to pick apart if you're already seeing them as someone being confrontational, but it feels like they are genuinely sharing their ideas that many of us care about individuals outside of social status, and sharing that hobbies have been an alternative for them to find support in communities outside of work. That they are trying to share how they cope with the chasm in their heart.
They then relate to their own experience of seeing themselves as worthless, and the struggle that it takes to escape - noting that they themselves are still in the process. They then share their mindset of looking to a future vision of themselves, and recognizing how much energy and effort it takes to even make the slightest steps forward.
It's good to vent, and it's good that you're actively trying to find help, though misinterpreting their message only stands to hurt the both of you, and I feel that it probably did. As an outside observer, I can see how their message was only meant to help and try to build solidarity, and from your end I can see a trauma response that I know all too well. That there are going to be jerks on all social media, but I can see that they didn't mean to drag you down or demean your struggle either.