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What are some of the things you say / think to yourself when going through a hard time or dealing with uncertainty to help yourself along? (reddthat.com)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I noticed that I tend to think something along the lines of

Everything will be okay. And even if it's not, that's okay too. You'll get though this my love

The love bit was something I've been trying intentionally to instill. I've heard that positive self-talk can improve well being.

What do you think or say to yourself during those harder times?

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[–] rusfairfax 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own. (Epictetus, Discourses 2.5.4–5).

I always go back to this task: is this “bad” situation something that I can control? If not, let it go - it is neither good nor bad. If yes, then how? Do the “how”. The “how” may be specific actions or they may be about controlling how I perceive the situation. If I perceive the situation negatively, work out how to perceive the situation positively. eg. Losing a job may be viewed as bad because of money issues or career issues but could be viewed positively as an opportunity to pursue passions. Perceptions are controllable so bend them to positive constructive ends.