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Women of Lemmy, how to pleasure someone that does not enjoy any clitoris stimulation? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by MTK to c/[email protected]

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Well, as the title says, I'm facing an issue that I'm not sure how to improve.

My partner does not enjoy any sort of clitoris stimulation, I tried everything from rough to gentle, from fingers to tongue, with lube and without. It seems that she truly does not enjoy it in anyway.

She does enjoy penetration very much and I put all of my efforts there, but I feel like I can't get her to an orgasm/higher pleasure and while she is satisfied right now I fear that over time she wont be.

So my question is what else can I do? There are some other pleasure areas that we use such as ears, emotional connection, fantasies, dirty talk, etc.

Maybe something I haven't tried on the clitoris? Maybe something else that can take it to the next level? Maybe something that she can do? Maybe just accept that this is okay? Again, she does enjoy herself a lot and is completely satisfied as far as I know, but as I'm her first I think that she is missing out on a level of pleasure that I can't figure how to help her achieve without the clitoris.

ETA: she does not masturbate, so no guidance or hidden methods on her part.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

(Not a woman): my partner does not like receiving oral sex or other kinds of sex where she is mostly passive/receiving, because she doesn’t like feeling put on the spot and obligated to react.

If your partner has been not getting much from sex for a long time now, then she is also probably feeling a lot of pressure to change and behave right and react as expected which would be not pleasant for her.

Maybe ask her if she wants to play a game where she reads a book out loud (sexy book or bit sexy book) or play a cozy video game or some other activity where you get to enjoy yourself playing with her body for potentially a long time, and she has something else to pay attention to besides her own sexual performance? That would probably also go well with deep toys on low power as well.

Just, maybe avoid Call of Duty for this one. It has to be a lazy activity she’s doing. If her attention is successfully diverted 100% to the point the sex is an irritating distraction then that’s not any fun for anybody

[–] MTK 2 points 2 weeks ago

Thank you, the Call of Duty tip is great XD

But this is not the case with her