Hello, folks. Hoping I can get some opinions on my situation.
My 12-yo watches a lot of YouTube. It is mostly streaming personalities who have a lot to say on a variety of topics. I have either watched these videos with them, overheard them from another room, or looked some up from their history and viewed them myself.
I have problems with them and want to do something about it.
I care little about the topics being discussed; my child is allowed to be interested in their own things, even those separate from ours (their parents), and it's also reasonable for them to disagree with us. All of that is fine.
My problem is with how these streamers present their content:
- They do not provide critical scrutinization of the issues.
- They do not apply logical rationalization or reason to the stances they take.
- They do not cite sources of repute to justify their positions.
- They are needlessly hyperbolic.
- They examine no dissenting opinions.
- They present themselves as authorities on every topic with zero credentials to support that assertion.
- They succumb to, support, and repeat what is obviously propaganda.
To say nothing of the fact that the value the entertainment potential and viewership counts more than the content of their arguments.
I was raised allowed to moderate my own content because I was trusted to be intelligent and wise enough to critically select what I watched or read and learn from the mistakes I made if I consumed something negatively influential. I have tried to extend this same trust to my 12-yo, but their constant repetition of what they hear and their inability to form a cogent argument makes me feel like their YouTube viewing habits are teaching them to accept concepts at face-value simply because they are popular.
I don't feel it would be productive to start out-right blocking content and pundits because this would feel more hegemonic than educational. I'd rather increase the likelihood that they'd critique and dismiss the content than decrease the likelihood that they'd view it.
I would love to hear what others have to say about this situation.
How you interact with them is the key to 90% of what your child learns from you. You're already participating in their viewing. Use this as a stepping stone for dialogue regarding plausibility, and demonstrating critical thinking.
"Do you agree with that influencer? Why or why not?"
"What are the influencers motivations?" Dazzle them with possibilities they had not considered too.
"If I told you I've been to space would you believe me? But I'm your parent! Why is my claim beyond belief?"
"Can you verify what that person is telling you through reliable means? This is how I would do that".
... and so on. Just do more of what you're doing and up the investigation portion IMO. Don't be afraid to learn something yourself while they witness it. Just be careful to avoid arguments as they're getting to that age...
I agree. The issue, however, is that they simply do not engage with any conversation. All I get is shrugs and "I don't know" to literally anything I say. My latest idea is a litmus test I will reward them for taking which gives me an idea of their cognitive and critical thinking .
My son's only 8 so I have no personal experience parenting a tween/teen. So take that into consideration with my advice.
How about the next time you're watching with them, try this:
"I was raised allowed to moderate my own content because I was trusted to be intelligent and wise enough to critically select what I watched or read and learn from the mistakes I made if I consumed something negatively influential. I have tried to extend this same trust to you, but the constant repetition of what you hear and your inability to form a cogent argument makes me feel like your YouTube viewing habits are teaching you to accept concepts at face-value simply because they are popular.
If you will engage with me in a discussion on these videos, I'll leave you alone and continue to trust you on this. However, if you continue to shrug and dismiss the conversation, I will have to consider blocking this content until you are ready to engage with me on a deeper level."
I know modern parenting advice tells us to prefer reward over punishment so if there's a reward strong enough to motivate them to engage, go with that. But if punishment is a greater motivator, I'd say damn the modern parenting advice.