Daddit - Parenting for Dads

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Current dads who grew up with terrible fathers of their own - how have you done things differently? (self.Daddit)

submitted 1 year ago by Wolf_359 to c/[email protected]

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Hey Daddit

I'm about to be the father in just a couple more months. My own father, mostly absent, was a raging alcoholic who, in recent years, has made the switch to meth. I have absolutely no concept of being a good dad outside of TV and short interactions with a few of my friends' dad's (though, to be honest, most of my friends have shit fathers as well).

So I'll outsource the question - when do you feel like you're doing better than your own parents? Is it hard when you don't have a good blueprint? Any advice?

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[–] subnuggurat 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

First, congratulations! Having a dad who cares is an amazing advantage in life. Your little one certainly is lucky to have you.

Sometimes the hardest part is being aware of your own ignorance and giving yourself room to not knowing how to do everything. After all, even if you had great parents, no one has ever risen YOUR child before, so this road is yours and yours only.

In my case, I tried to learn as much as possible by reading some books on child development, language acquisition and other related stuff. Tried to avoid blogs since anyone can just write anything on the web and personally prefer research-based material instead of the trendy buzzwords that fill up the parentsphere.

There are some really helpful books written in very friendly language that helped me understand and react to my child's needs and how to regulate myself so she could learn to do it on her own. Send me a note of you're interested in any recommendations. I'll be happy to share.

[–] Wolf_359 1 points 1 year ago

I'm definitely interested! Thank you!