this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2024
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[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago (16 children)

Out of curiosity, why the refusal to use online dating?

[–] [email protected] 78 points 6 months ago (14 children)

Not OP, but the usual reply I see is, because dating companies are incentivized to keep you on their app, not get you a happy relationship, so you need to go through hundreds of dates and thousands of rejections, which can be mentally taxing.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeah I guess I can see that. I’ve always seen the apps as not owing me anything, matches are pretty rare, but it’s kind of fun to get them and chat with random people. Most of the chats never go anywhere but again, I don’t really expect them to. Just putting zero pressure on it has worked for me.

Either I don’t use any online dating and have a zero % chance to meet someone using it, or I use it, and get that up to a solid 1%. Still low, but infinitely better than 0.

[–] Dashi 4 points 6 months ago

Yeah, that's how i started using them as well, it just increases the odds. I went through a phase of "wanting to be in a relationship" and that was the focus of the apps for me. I would read every bio and then decide if i swipe right or not and think about how we would be good for each other. That was taxing and took a lot out of me emotionally.

Eventually i realized it really is just a numbers game. So i just looked at pictures and if i liked them swiped right. Then if we matched i would read the bio and have conversations.

That being said i was the one that got swipped right on and am thankful to have deleted those apps a year ago. I feel for those that are stuck in the online dating hellscape.

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