Two Sentence Horror

What is that glowing ball in the sky and why does it hurt my eyes?

I was just about to flush when I felt hairy legs touching my skin from underneath.

Unfortunately for us, he was a fake and the sorceress from the other dimension was the real deal.

Yet, as a devastating solar flare engulfed the planet, the chip's glitched response transformed the masses into vacant-eyed zombies, forever trapped in a collective state of mindless drooling.

Scientists and linguists, working day and night for month after grueling month finally decoded it: "SHUT UP! THEY'RE LISTENING!"

The head popped off right afterward.

I looked over my collection and gave him the left hand of my mother.

The last man on Earth hears a knock on the door.

(Not mine, but I remember hearing it somewhere)

I cried as the priest lit the tinder piled around me.

I agreed with my coworker, right up until I came home to my elderly mother, body pinned under the bookshelf and phone still in hand.

Until I saw something moving toward me from the distance.

As my limbs began turning to wood, I realized that I should have been more specific.