Humanity Fuck Yeah!

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HFY - Humanity Fuck Yeah! is a community for writers and artists to showcase their talent in the HFY genre and for people who enjoy them.

While traditional science fiction often presents humans as vulnerable masses seeking refuge from menacing aliens or as feeble beings overshadowed by aliens with superior logic, strength or empathy. HFY disrupts these archetypes by challenging the norm.

In the world of HFY, humanity is bestowed with exceptional qualities, giving rise to a sense of optimism and empowerment within the reader. It seeks to uplift and inspire, demonstrating the potential of human greatness and the capacity for overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds.

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founded 2 years ago
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submitted 2 years ago by deathworlder to c/hfy
 
 

!MESSAGE BEGINS

We made a mistake. That is the simple, undeniable truth of the matter, however painful it might be. The flaw was not in our Observatories, for those machines were as perfect as we could make, and they showed us only the unfiltered light of truth. The flaw was not in the Predictor, for it is a device of pure, infallible logic, turning raw data into meaningful information without the taint of emotion or bias. No, the flaw was within us, the Orchestrators of this disaster, the sentients who thought themselves beyond such failings. We are responsible.

It began a short while ago. as these things are measured. less than 66 Deeli ago. though I suspect our systems of measure will mean very little by the time anyone receives this transmission. We detected faint radio signals from a blossoming intelligence 2.14 Deelis outward from the Galactic Core, as photons travel. At first crude and unstructured. these leaking broadcasts quickly grew in complexity and strength, as did the messages they carried. Through our Observatories we watched a world of strife and violence. populated by a barbaric race of short-lived. fast breeding vermin. They were brutal and uncultured things which stabbed and shot and burned each other with no regard for life or purpose. Even their concepts of Art spoke of conflict and pain. They divided themselves according to some bizarre cultural patterns and set their every industry to cause of death.

They terrified us, but we were older and wiser and so very far away, so we did not fret. Then we watched them split the atom and breach the heavens within the breadth of one of their single, short generations, and we began to worry. When they began actively transmitting messages and greetings into space, we felt fear and horror. Their transmissions promised peace and camaraderie to any who were listening, but we had watched them for tool long to buy into such transparent deceptions. They knew we were out here, and they were coming for us.

The Orchestrators consulted the Predictor, and the output was dire. They would multiply and grow and flood out of their home system like some uncountable tide of Devourer worms, consuming all that lay in their path. It might take 6.8 Deelis, but they would destroy us if left unchecked. With aching carapaces we decided to act. and sealed our fate.

The Gift of Mercy was 84 strides long with a mouth 2/4 that in diameter, filled with many 44 weights of machinery, fuel, and ballast. It would push itself up to 2/8th of light speed with its onboard fuel, and then begin to consume interstellar Primary Element 2/2 to feed its unlimited acceleration. It would be traveling at nearly light speed when it hit. They would never see it coming. Its launch was a day of mourning, celebration, and reflection. The horror of the act we had committed weighted heavily upon us all; the necessity of our crime did little to comfort us.

The Gift had barely cleared the outer cometary halo when the mistake was realized. but it was too late. The Gift could not be caught. could not be recalled or diverted from its path. The architects and work crews, horrified at the awful power of the thing upon which they labored. had quietly self-terminated in droves. walking unshielded into radiation zones. neglecting proper null pressure safety or simple ceasing their nutrient consumption until their metabolic functions stopped. The appalling cost in lives had forced the Ochestrators to streamline the Gift's design and construction. There had been no time for the design or implementation of anything beyond the simple. massive engines and the stabilizing systems. We could only watch in shame and horror as the light of genocide faded into infrared against the distant void.

They grew, and they changed, in a handful of lifetimes htey abolished war, abandoned their violent tendencies and turned themselves to the grand purposes of life and Art. We watched them remake first themselves, and then their world. Their frail, soft bodies gave way to gleaming metals and plastics, they unified their people through an omnipresent communications grid and produced Art of such power and emotion, the likes of which the Galaxy has never seen before. Or again, because of us.

They converted their home world into a paradise (by their standards) and many 106s of them poured out into the surrounding system with a rapidity and vigor that we could only envy. With bodies built to survive every environment from the day lit surface of their innerrnost world. to the atmosphere of their largest gas giant and the cold void in-between. they set out to sculpt their system into something beautiful. At first we thought them simple miners. stripping the rocky planets and moons for vital resources. but then we began to see the purpose to their constructions. the artworks carved into every surface. and traced across the system in glittering lights and dancing fusion trails. And still. our terrible Gift approached.

They had less than 22 Deeli to see it, following so closely on the tail of its own light. In that time, oh so brief even by their fleeting lives, more than 1010 sentients prepared for death. Lovers exchanged last words, separated by worlds and the tyranny of light speed. Their planet side engineers worked frantically to build sufficient transmission infrastructure to upload the countless masses with the necessary neural modifications, while those above dumped lifetimes of music and literature from their databanks to make room for passengers. Those lacking the required hardware or the time to acquire itconsigned themselves to death, lashed out in fear and pain, or simply went about their lives as best they could under the circumstances.

The Gift arrived suddenly. the light of its impact visible in our skies. shining bright and cruel even to the unaugmented ocular receptor. We watched and we wept for our victims, dead so many Deelis before the light of their doom had even reached us. Many 64s of those who had been directly or even tangentially involved in the creation of the Gift sealed their spiracles with paste as a final penance for the small roles they had played in this atrocity. The light dimmed. the dust cleared, and our Observatories refocused upon the place where their shining blue world had once hung in the void, and found only dust and the pale gleam of an orphaned moon, wrapped in a thin, burning wisp of atmosphere that had once belonged to its parent.

Radiation and relativistic shrapnel had wiped out much of the inner system. and continent sized chunks of molten rock carried screaming ghosts outward at interstellar escape velocities, damned to wander the great void for an eternity. The damage was apocalyptic. but not complete. from the shadows of the outer worlds. tiny points of light emerged, thousands of fusion trails of single ships and world ships and everything in between. many 106s of survivors in flesh and steel and memory banks, ready to rebuild. For a few moments we felt relief, even joy, and we were filled with the hope that their culture and Art would survive the terrible blow we had dealt them. Then came the message. tightly focused at our star. transmitted simultaneously by hundreds of their ships.

"We know you are out there, and we are coming for you."

!MESSAGE ENDS


Thank you for reading the story, this story is more than six years old. I have included links to the original sources and where I came upon this story.

Original Source

Reddit Post

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Bug Stompers (self.hfy)
submitted 2 years ago by Crass_Spektakel to c/hfy
 
 

Bug Stompers

Second Fleet Lord Keras barely made it back to his heavy cruiser alive. He had just escaped the most horrible enemy he ever came across and was now sitting in his shuttle, waiting for clearance to land.

But Science master Koops used his veto and held his superiors shuttle at gun point away from the heavy cruiser.

“My Lord, we have to burn your shuttle to shake of the infestation, you need to gear up in a space suite quickly and enter the flag ship through a free space walk.”

Lord Keras sighted. This was to be expected. At least as a member of the noble cast his subordinates tried honestly saving him from utter peril.

“Master Koops, as embarrassing as it is I will follow your advice. Prepare a full staff meeting so we may discuss what brought this utter defeat upon us.”

...

Twenty minutes later Lord Keras gave a lecture to his staff, his feathers still unclean and his beak shivering from fear.

“As you can see from my recordings the enemy is a kind of insect hive mind. They are highly organized, we have at least found out they have a queen, billion of workers, farmers and warriors. They breed insanely fast and fear no death. They skin is nearly as hard as steel, they are strong enough to lift a thousand times their own weight and they posses a deadly acid they can spray at their targets from afar. In addition their bite can penetrate our best armour.

The most frightening property though is their instinctive ability to cooperate and overwhelm even the largest opponent. While every single one of these critters is only the size of a finger of our mighty warriors they attack by the thousands, swarming the enemy, crossing fortifications, rivers, traps, everything just by using their bodies like bridges, like ladders, like building bricks. They throw their lives away for the slightest advantage and never stop!

Though our elite company of fine soldiers was able to hold out against their onslaught for nearly a week, in the end the lack of supply and the ever growing numbers of the enemies meant their end. If we are talking about lesser security units or unarmed civilians then it always ends with a brutal massacre!

I suggest to glass this world from high orbit even though it once was a valuable garden world. And I suggest to do the same to the worlds of Airodna and the source of this new plague, New Chicago.”

His audience clattered their beaks almost in unison to show their approval.

Only Master Koops scratched his beak against his arm, a sure sign something was gnawing on him.

Valuing the opinion of his old companion the Lord addressed Master Koops

“Master Koops, please speak your mind.”

“Uh, excuse me, my Lord. I already had to embarrass you once today by not letting you land your shuttle…”

“Water under the bridge, I stand with your decision. Please dare to speak trueth to power.”

“The plague started on New Chicago. That is a human world which we received after the Galactic Court decided the border dispute in our favour. It is right at the human border and it is safe to assume they are under attack too. As sour as our relationship became after the court decision, if we work together we could help each other. See, the humans are big and tough but we have the technology. They only live on a dozen worlds, we on a thousand worlds. And even if they aren’t able to help us we own them to help evacuate and protect their few worlds.”

“You always had a soft heart for the big apes. But yes, I think your idea is a strategic valid and morally true one.

To COMMUNICATIONS: Get me a hyper communication channel to Earth, highest priority.

To STRATCOM: Block planetary traffic within 20 light years except for special military movements."

...

Lord Keras just finished his speech to the Chairman of the United Human Nations “…and they even eat our dead! Thousands have died and we have to stop them before they reach denser populated areas.”

The big brown primate, Chairman Mema Addo-Akufo, gazed at him with fear in his eyes.

“Are you sure it is an insect hive mind? We have theorized those might exist and that they are the most dangerous plague possible to imagine.”

“Yes. My own scientific and military staff agrees in the assessment of the danger. We are close to sterilizing the affected worlds and just wanted to hear your opinion about this problem first. As you are close to the infected worlds you might also have suffered losses?”

“No? Not as far as I know of. But I make sure to get you into contact with our recon, military and scientific departments. While I am not an expert into these matters, I am mostly a political place holder, can you send me a simple fact sheet? Some pictures? So I have a face for the enemy?”

“It should arrive in your Galnet-Mail any moment.”

Addo-Akufo browsed through the sheet a moment later. Tilted his head. Then he spoke determined “I think I know the right men you should speak to. Our price is the return of the worlds you took from us.”

...

When his phone rang Enrico Mueller was having a beer while sitting in the back of his van, watching how a slightly yellow gas streamed into the giant plastic tent ahead of him.

“Pest Control Mueller. We are Bug Stompers. If it bites you we can kill it.”

He listened in surprise how an alien bird was telling him about a war of extinction on his worlds. Horrible monster armies overwhelming the best defences by sheer numbers, eating living and dead. That sounded like a job for the military, not for someone catching rats and termites, he wanted nothing to do with that madness. Until he looked through the fact sheet.

“Oh, I see. You have a nasty case of fire ants. Yeah, those are really nasty little critters. How much it would cost to remove the plague? 50 dollars per hour plus expenses. Three planets? Uh, I think I need to call my brothers, that is a bit too much for one man. No, they are easy to handle if you know how to do them. We have millions of their hives all around our planet.

Hello? Did you just faint?”

...

Note from the author: We have nearly a dozen ant nests in our garden. Thanks god only the small black ones. They are still pretty warmongering but mostly we get along well as long as I respect their territory.

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Hostile Bugs (self.hfy)
submitted 2 years ago by deathworlder to c/hfy
 
 

“Oh, oh god, you want believe what I just heard from a buddy of mine, this is great, you won’t believe it.”

“Hmm?”

“Those Grek-nel bastards are going to surrender to the Humans at the council today.”

“Humans?”

“Yeah, that new council race.”

“The pink bipedals from Sol?”

“Well, some of ‘em are different colors, but yeah, that’s them.”

“Didn’t know they were at war with the Greks, I really am out of the loop, and to have won against those assholes already, good for them.”

“That’s the great part, they weren’t at war, ya know how every time a new race becomes acknowledged, invited to the council and taken off the protection list. And how the Grek-nel just sweep over and demand tribute or they will use their nasty little bioweapon.”

“Oh, don’t get me started on their death beetles, they let some lose on Tavrin 4, they breed too fast to get rid of easy, and they’re too small to notice till it’s already an infestation. And they are poisonous. Nearly impossible to get rid of without killing everything else in the area, we had to burn half the fields before harvest time, and we’re still not sure if they got out of the quarantine area.”

“Exactly, so the Greks stroll right up to Earth, that’s the human’s prime planet, and transmit the info on their death beetles to some random military institute. Well, the humans there tell them “We’re not the ones in charge of that” and they should talk to this other place and gives the coordinates. So they transmit to the next site: It’s a science building, they thought the Greks where sharing information, and started sending some back. Turns out Earth is positively covered with shit that makes the death beetles look tame, they got versions that fly. It’s insane. Greks get up and leave fast as they could.”

“Wait, they got lots of ‘em?”

“Yeah, it’s freaky, from what I hear only place with more hostile bugs is Telltra, and no one lives there.”

“That’s messed up”

“Yeah, how many species can say their first military victory was achieved without their military.”

Original Broken Link

Mirror Post - Reddit

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submitted 2 years ago by Crass_Spektakel to c/hfy
 
 

Day of the Fat Man

Chapter 1: Shooting Stars

When I was a little Noocar I learned the meaning of cold and hunger. My home world was a poor farm world with short summers and harsh winters but still we usually were able to grow all we needed.

But that year, it started bad. The winter was long and cold and the spring wet and stormy. Our grain didn’t grow, the root-vegetables were foul and the cattle got sick. We barely made it through the summer and in autumn food become scarce. Then the early winter started with our reserves depleted.

On a cold and clear morning I woke up hungry again and sneaked out of the nest where my family shared their warmth, out of our community hall. I decided to collect some bark in the near forest. The bark was hard to chew but filled my stomach and sometimes I found a larvae or a mushroom.

Just when I tried swallowing a really hard piece of bark a loud bang made me look up into the sky. A large and bright shooting star, in broad daylight. I was told I could make a wish now. I wished for food and warmth.

Another shooting star. And another. And many more! Dozens of them! They slowed down, took turns and swarmed in every direction. I had never seen that kind of shooting stars. And one was heading towards our small village. As it came closer it features became more clear. It was a metal construct riding on a blue flame coming out of its back side. As I ran towards my village the construct became larger until it dwarfed every house in the village except the community hall.

When it landed on the large place before the community hall, right in front of me I, was baffled – I had never seen so much metal in one place. Our village was slowly awakening to the loud noises coming from the vehicle, people looking through doors and windows, fear in their eyes.

But I knew they meant no harm. Because they were shooting stars and granted me my wish.

When a huge door opened I stepped closer and looked inside. Warm Air rushed over me from the inside. Then the strangest Noocar I had ever seen handed me a box, talked in a strange language to me, tried to explain something to me. But even though I couldn’t understand his words I knew what he was saying, took the box and ran back to my house!

“Food, they brought food!”

Chapter 2: New Hope

People from beyond the Stars! I couldn’t believe it! Our elders taught us Stars were the tears of the gods but in fact they were the home of these Terrans as they call themselves.

They saw from afar how dire our situation was and organized the largest rescue operation in their entire history. But even for them it was hard to feed an entire world so far away, it cost them huge amounts of resources. Thus we had to sustain on dried food, tasteless but nutritious. Still it filled our stomachs and secured our survival. For days star ships arrived and landed pallets of dried food until our storage was full.

Meanwhile their wise taught us to build better shelter, better fireplaces, gave us better crops and more sturdy cattle. They told us our world was entering an ice age but they had lots of experience with creating global warming and would try to come up with a solution. I thought global warming sounded nice.

When the Terrans finally left there was lots of work to do. Even we kids had to work dawn to dusk for weeks to help building all the new things the Terrans taught us. And finally we were done with our new community hall. It was warm and big and for the winter time we all would sleep in this new and modern building, share a cooking place. After the winter we would build more houses like that but for the time it was good.

It was at the coldest, most quiet time of winter when the Terrans came back one last time.

Chapter 3: First Arrival of the Fat Man

At the falling dusk our community had just gathered in the town hall and started to prepare the evening meal. Salty powder soup with water, like every day for weeks.

Suddenly we hear the sound of a Terran Star Ship circling over our hall – unmistakeable but different? Like many small bells ringing?

We kids ran outside and looked stunned at the strange Terran Star Ship – it was red with horned quadrupeds painted on its side in a way it looked like they pulled the Ship – and while it circled over our small village it rained colourful sparkles and a fat Terran with red clothes and a white beard stood in its side door, laughing loud and deep while throwing little packages outside, gliding slowly down on parachutes.

“HOHOHO! Merry Christmas! HOHOHO! May the warmth of Christmas fill your heart, and its magic spread joy right from the start! HOHOHO!”

After several more turns he shouts “Happy Holidays!” and his ship vanishes in the night.

We collected the colourful packages and found little presents inside. Toys for the kids, nice clothes for the adults, sweet cake for everyone!

We decided to forgo the powder soup. Instead we feasted for the first time in years with the kids laughing and playing with their new toys!

Chapter 4: The new Fat Man

I stand in front of a mirror, checking my outfit. Perfect. Today is Fat Man Day! A very special Fat Man Day for me! Live wasn’t easy but we made it. The Terrans rarely show up nowadays, told us we are masters of our own future.

Sure, we remember the day when the Terrans arrived with boxes of powder soup. It is a holiday we take very serious, where we tell the story about the time of despair and hunger and take an oath to prepare for the next winter.

But the real holiday is the Day of the Fat Man, were we sing and party, feast and drink. Where we give presents to our young and praise the old for having cared well for us in their past.

My wife opens the door, looks outside and giggles me “They are ready!”

I close my red mantle, pull my white beard straight one last time and grab my bag, stepping into the community hall “HOHOHO! The Fat Man is here! Happy Holidays Everyone!”

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Worthy (self.hfy)
submitted 2 years ago by Crass_Spektakel to c/hfy
 
 

Worthy

“Human Jeannette Rankin, you stand before the highest cosmic court to defend your species. The court accuses the human species to be dangerous, savage child race. How do you plead?”

UN General-Secretary Jeannette Rankin had been speaking in front of the UN when she suddenly experienced a cold chill and a blinding light and found herself in front of this… court? She stood in a bright beam of light while darkness surrounded her, then that clearly non-human voice addressed her.

“What?” she said.

She quickly realized that wasn’t exactly a pinnacle of eloquence.

“Sorry, I am confused. Where am I and what is the meaning of all of this?”

A different voice boomed “The accused is incapable of following the trial. This species is unfit to plead! We can declare the sentence immediately and commence with the extermination.”

At these words Jean felt her adrenaline rush! She had a vague idea about what she was facing and quickly made a decision.

“NOT GUILTY.”

“But you can't deny that you're a dangerous, savage child race.”

“Most certainly I deny it. I agree we still face numerous problems. But we are aware of them and we get better every day!”

The second voice boomed again “Today you slaughter millions in silly arguments about how to divide the resources of your little world. And four hundred years before that you were murdering each other in quarrels over tribal god-images. There are no indications that humans will ever change. You have nothing to offer to the universe except savagery and pain.“

“We do! We create technology, we create art, we love, we care! We are so much more than our past!”

“Show Evidence!”

Now that was bad. Jean was a lawyer and crisis politician. She could tell the court a thousand good reasons to exterminate the humans but in all this confusion she simply couldn’t come up with something worth showing… Sun Tzu… bad… The Crucification of Jesus Christ from Antonello da Messina… very bad… her own support for death penalty… Teletubbies, Hitler, Ren&Stimpy, Stalin and Mao kissing, George Orwell 1984, Putin with no shirt, Trump playing golf… shit, her mind was running in circles!

“You are exceeding the patient of the court, defendant.”

Here goes nothing she thought and pulled out her phone. No connection. Shit. Was anything stored locally on the phone? … Oh. My. God. That is utterly shameful. But the last chance for humanity.

She started the music video and held it up into the air. Techno-Magic enhanced the video to the size of a house. Silence except for the Beats of the cheesy pop song. The video had been accidentally sent to the internal mailing-list of the UNHCR and she personally had given the responsible intern a nasty scolding.

Suddenly some sounds started to join the rhythm… did the aliens “clap”?

More “clapping” joined the beats.

A light started to shine above a being in the dark, it jerked like it…. a dancing huge locust?

Another fury creature appeared in the dark, swaying his tail with the rhythm.

And another, then some more… suddenly the dark room was filled with hundreds of dancing and swinging creatures and finally light flooded the whole room, like a disco ball started to spin! Hundreds of weird creatures, avians, crustaceans, dragons, metal beings, they all moved to the beat, clapped their extremities, twittered, howled! A giant rhino like creature rose up and tried replicating the dancing movements from the video – and was actually not bad.

Could it be…???

Just dance, Jean, she thought and joined in! She had learned ballet and rock’n’roll dance in her youth and even though she had long left that era behind she still knew how to dance, how to join the beat and to swing her hips!

For four minutes the whole court was dancing, hopping, howling, singing!

Then the video was over.

“Order!” boomed the first voice and the room darkened again. “We have seen enough.”

For a minute, which felt like eternity, nothing happened. Jean felt sweat running down her back. Fear about the future but also exhaustion from dancing wild.

Then the first voice boomed again. “Your species is extraordinary. Your art is unique. The colours, the music, the emotions, the hope. Working together for the better of all, to live free and in harmony. Such a positive vision of the future, the joy, the will to work together for a better future. The mercy for the opponent.”

Silence.

The second voice spoke up again.

“We are sorry that we have been blinded by your past, misinformed by your enviers.

You are Worthy.

Case dismissed.”

“Thank you…”

Before she had finished the words she experienced the cold chill and the blinding light again and stood back in front of the UN. The hall was in uproar, the ambassadors were guided outside while armed security streamed inside.

“SHE IS BACK!”

The Rumanian ambassador pointed at her and shouted again

“SHE IS BACK!”

The Chief of Security shouted through the room “Are you ok? What happened?”

Jean grabbed the microphone which was still active from when she was speaking to the UN only minutes ago, but an era away.

“I think Katy Perry just saved humanity with California Girls.”

...

Thumbs up to the remote cousin who asked me to proof read her school analysis of said video.

I hid two other Easter eggs in the story. One historical, one from media. Whoever finds one first earns my deepest respect.

In other news, the mentioned intern is currently preparing a deal of 98 SM-5 missiles. Dunno if that rings a bell.

But enough of cheesy pop for me. Now listening to “dArtagnan - We're gonna be drinking ft. Candice Night, Blackmore's Night“ – Cheers!

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The Terran (self.hfy)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by Crass_Spektakel to c/hfy
 
 

The Terran

Bobegnop has had it. He tried keeping his damaged shuttle flightworthy while entering the atmosphere of a remote Terran colony. All while the mad Terran was trying to break into the pilots cabin. What started as a simple recon mission ended in utter chaos!

His hive mistress Sbark had found something about a new species in the diplomatic reports, the Terrans. And that the Nacluv Birds where practically shitting themselves even thinking about them. She showed a video where a Terran easily subdued a Nacluv Bird. Tore him apart, without mercy! What past grievance drove the Terrans to such cruelty? The mighty Empire of Nacluv. Fearing a newcomer species. It was too good to be true.

Sbark, that half hatched idiot, was sure they would make for good soldiers for the Retsbol Hive if given the right incentive, giving finally the Hive the power to put down the arrogant Nacluvs for good!

A week later Bobegnop was commanding a light frigate towards Terran space. They looked for a Terran for a while and finally found one taking a sun bath near a grain field. A hideous creature, a mammal, obviously an experienced hunter, deep eyes fixating the landing party, so much different than his insect brothers. They tried stunning the Terran but it knew what they were up to and evaded with ease, hunted them down to the light frigate and only by sheer luck they managed to trap him in the airlock, half his crew badly beaten up. By the good hive mother, if that creature had know where their shells had their weak spots it would have easily killed half his crew!

For days they tried communicating. The creature was obviously very smart and knew exactly they tried to communicate with it. But it also was sneaky, patient, and FAST! Every time it appeared docile, every time it lay sleepy in a corner, every single time it was a ruse! As soon as they opened the door it jumped at them, trying to escape. And after a while it just did. With a mad jump it flew above the experienced hive warriors and vanished into the deeps of the ship.

For a whole week we searched for it. Crawled after it through maintenance tubes. Tried luring it into traps in the storage room. But it evaded everything while tearing the ship slowly apart from the inside. A ripped wire here, a clogged pipe there, a tool hidden somewhere, a cup of liquid carelessly poured into a delicate machinery. And it ate everything. Small critters living in small holes, the grass in the arboretum, once it even ripped of a leg of a soldier which we later found eaten. Horrible!

In the end I had enough. The frigate was considered nearly a total loss, most of my crew were wounded and hiding in the sick bay. So I did what a captain had to do. I lured the Terran into my shuttle by using our last rations and finally managed to trap it. But I was also trapped in the pilot department, the mad Terran in the passenger room behind me.

It deserved death. But I was not the Retsbol able to make his just end. So I took the shuttle craft to the planet where we fetched it. Landed near the field where the horrors began. And finally, just a mere press of a button away, the farce would be over.

I pressed the button but nothing happened. The Terran hat ripped out the power to the shuttle door. I was trapped here forever with this eldritch horror. I made my peace.

...

“Howdy Partner? What kind of critter are you?”

Waking up from an unhealthy sleep, I watched through the windscreen at a strange and big creature which had just knocked at my shuttle and yelled so loud I could hear him inside my shuttle. The translator worked perfectly, so much better than with the Terran. Pointing to where the outside phone was accessible he quickly understood what I tried to do and picked up the phone.

“Howdy, never seen such a creature like you before. You are from the stars?”

“Oh yes. We tried contacting a Terran. But he is so cruel and now I am trapped with him inside this shuttle. Can you see this daemon from the side window?”

The two legged creature stepped to the side window, gazed inside for a moment.

“The orange fellow?”

“Yes, that is him!”

“Oh, I see the problem. I know the little rascal, have been searching for him for days. Just open the door and I will take care of him.”

“You are sure? It is a dangerous being!”

“Nah, I know all his dirty little tricks and actually he accepted me as a friend a while ago. Just open the door, I’ll be good.”

“You need to pull the door open manually, the Terran destroyed the mechanism.”

“Roger that. Pull here?”

The being nearly ripped out the shuttle door, bending it slightly but opened it up halfway. The Terran flexed his muscles and made it to the door, straight at the being, obviously out for blood!

“Hey Garfield you little tomcat! Where have you been? Did you visit some aliens?”

The ‘Tomcat’ was jumping up into the arms of the being but instead of mangling him he started to caress him, started to purr, obviously feeling happy seeing his friend again.

“You are hungry and dirty, what shenanigans did you play with the funny alien? You have been a bad cat?”

“Meow!”

“Yeah, I see. You are happy being home again. Hey Lobster Guy, you can come out now. He is relaxed and I will keep you safe.”

Bobegnop carefully climbed through the half open door, looked up to the two legged creature. Garfield looked back angrily, making a hissing noise.

“Big Being, what are you? You know these Terrans?”

“Sure, we are both from Terra. I am a human, names Jon. That fat fellow here is Garfield, he is a cat. Want me to make contact to out government for a proper fist contact? Or are you just passing by?”

“Uh, well, I think first contact sounds good… what the HELL IS THAT?”

The Lobster Guy pointed at another four legged creature running towards them with his fangs wide open, that monster was easily five times the size of Garfield!

The human looked towards the newcomer with a smile “Ah, that is Lassie. She is a good dog and very protective, she surely missed Garfield even though both of them are constantly fighting. She… where did you go?”

Bobegnop slammed the door to the pilot cabin shut and started the engine, running for his live! No matter how wrecked his shuttle, no matter how busted his frigate was, he would take the risk of limping home! And he would write a strong worded letter to the Hive mistress to completely avoid Terran space at all costs!

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62
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by Crass_Spektakel to c/hfy
 
 

The Typo which saved Humanity

Secretary of the defence Norbert Braun smashed a bundle of documents at Rick van Hout desk and held him a newspaper into the face.

“Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me.”

Van Hout looked at the headline, his face becoming sour.

Braun reads the headline aloud and angry “European Defence Agency procures 98,000 Standard Missile 5 for the fight against the Eurasian Axis, Tesla-Raytheon-Defence rises 17,6%.”

“What? We never ordered 98.000 of these! It was my project, we requested a test batch of 98 units and that is what was written in the contract!” van Hout defended himself.

“No, seriously, I read it five times, you have signed a contract over 98000 SM-5 missiles! Who the hell needs 98.000 intercontinental hunter-killer missiles with multiple warheads?

Van Hout gasps. “Oh my good. These stupid Yankees use commas for separating thousands and everyone else is using points. But I never put commas or points into the contract?”

“Please tell me you signed the papers on embassy ground.”

“Well, we wanted to but then we went over to Luigi for lunch… and that is US territory. And subject to a US court.”

“You just ordered enough firepower to wipe out a dozen alien invasion fleets for a little under 320 billion euros. You Dumbfuck!”

...

Two weeks later van Hout was leaving the council building. The situation somewhat cleared up. It was a conversion mistake between Excel and Word and only appeared in a last minute change when Rick changed the name of a deceased lawyer. Rick was demoted and sent to Dirtistan, signing export papers for manure for the rest of his life.

It took a year of diplomatic talks to lower the order to 73000 units and a hefty mass rebate drove the price down to 110 billion euros. Also half of the units would be produced in Europe. The usual diplomatic trade bullshit. Also after the first 500 units the EDA received an upgraded Block 2 version, and later even more upgraded block 3 and block 4 versions for the same price. Still, the deal made Tesla-Raytheon-Defence piles of money.

Even though these missiles were crazy expensive they worked well and kept improving from batch to batch. Fired from a distance up to 2000 klicks they searched for targets, evaluated them and then closed in, swarmed the objective while taking crazy evasion maneuvers. The Eurasian Axis lost all air control in just two weeks, nearly every armoured vehicle a month later and when Block 3 arrived in numbers their orbital assets went the way of the Dodo too.

Still having around 65000 units to spend the EDA used them to hunt everything down to squad size units. Sure, that was an expensive overkill but then the stuff was lying around, had no other use and governments love saving money by wasting it. Two months later most forces of the Eurasian Axis had surrendered or rebelled.

The war was over and there were still 43000 SM-5 systems left. The EDA had no use for these and sold most of them cheaply to their allies.

The war was expensive but at least quick and with little own losses. The story could have been over here except Humanity made a bad first contact.

...

When a fleet of alien star ships entered the solar system and told us we had the honour of becoming the sixth servant race of their mighty empire everyone was sure we were all doomed. We had only a handful of tiny scientific interplanetary ships and not a single armed one. So we tried to bargain the best possible conditions without fighting back.

Things went from bad to worse when a single SM-5 forgotten in the orbit over the former Eurasian enemy decided it didn’t like the enemies flag ship. It send a short note to SHAPE that it identified an eurasian submarine in low earth orbit and blew a big fat hole into it.

Now the new offer was to level our cities and enslave all our people. Without nothing to lose we just activated the roughly 100 SM-5 still loitering in orbit.

And the war was over before it began. The 100 SM-5 simply shredded half of the enemy force with them not even knowing what hit em. They retreated while warning us they would be back with reinforcements and the next battle would be different.

It wasn’t. They came, we send a swarm of SM-5, they died. Over and over again. Even when their fourth fleet was twenty times larger than their first fleet. We didn’t even had to use Block 4 units. We just hit them with old Block 2 and surplus Block 3. Often they died far away from earth orbit and all their ordinance fired at our home world was simply taken out by some more SM-5.

Again and Again and Again.

They lost nearly 6.000 star ships, with a total tonnage of 210 million. It was a massacre.

Just five years later we still had 18,000 Block 3 and Block 4 units, not to mention another 350,000 freshly produced Block 5 and 6 units. Then the attacks stopped. So we thought it was time for a return visit. We scraped together all the wrecks, patched up the holes and planned big battles.

The big battles never happened. For most of the enemies 30 worlds it was enough to send in a large freighter and spill a couple of hundreds SM-5 outside. They took care of the space born resistance and the planets themselves usually surrendered quickly.

All in all ten years after first contact humanity had liberated 30 planets from slavery.

...

“We have a problem. Many of the 30 liberated worlds are close to famine.”

Ex-Ambassador Braun looked up from his glass of red wine into the face of his successor Marguerite Jabotinsky, who just had arrived next to him. They both were sitting at Luigi's in New York, enjoying a lovely dawn.

“Well, Marguerite, no one would have expected for the enemy to falter that fast and on such a scale. May I offer you a glass of wine?”

“Thanks, I guess I need a drink anyway. We could easily lose all our gains, our popular support from the liberated aliens if the situation gets worse. Aren’t any earth nations able to increase food production? Tapping into reserves?”

“Well, sorry but the world production of food is already at its limit, there simply isn’t enough land. And no matter how deep we dig into the reserves, it wont be enough for 30 worlds. They need to increase food production locally. But don’t ask me how. They would need hundreds of million tons of fertilizer.”

Marguerites phone rang. She took the phone, listened for a moment. Disbelieve in her eyes. Then she laughed and hung up.

“You wouldn’t believe what I was just told! Some dumbfuck assistant of our dirtistan embassy had accidentally ordered one fucking billion tons of fertilizer last year instead of one million and now nobody knows what to do with it.”

“Let me guess, his name was Rick van Hout?”

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PFY (self.hfy)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by Crass_Spektakel to c/hfy
 
 

PFY

Chapter 1: Memories of Leif Eriksson

“Three, Two, One, Ignition.”

The Niña started to shake slightly while its magneto-hydrodynamic generators spooled up. As our ship started to accelerate at respectable 4m/s², or in laymen terms, close to half a g, the Pinta, and Santa Maria prepared to follow us within the next minutes.

The second interstellar mission in humanities history was on its way, three ships, each holding 4000 colonists in cold storage, following the foot steps of the Leif Eriksson, its automated predecessor.

I was part of the scientists team and had the opportunity to experience the first true step into the void by my own eyes from the conference room while the ship crew made this miracle of a voyage possible. The crew of 24 and the eight scientists per ship would be the only ones to truly experience the journey, at least while we weren’t in cold storage. The colonists had been deep frozen even before we had left earth.

When the Moon vanished in the distance the novelty of the journey went away and the scientists and most of the crew went to our cryo chambers. While waiting for the sleep to set in I remember the history of the events leading up to this.

The Leif Eriksson was sent in the year 2653 towards TRAPPIST-1, nearly 180 years ago, and after a 90 years journey landed its probes on the twelve major bodies of the TRAPPIST-1 system, ranging from planet ‘b’ to ‘m’. As expected planet ‘d’ to ‘h’ seemed to be promising – if you call an average temperature of -100° up to 80° Celsius across the several planets hospitable. Not exactly Kansas but with modern technology manageable.

The probes conducted a number of experiments, looked for local life, tested how Terran life would handle the hostile environment, probed the resources and analysed stellar radiation and planetary weather. After a decade most probes started to show signs of old age and after two they were all gone, having done their duty pretty well. Another decade later the Leif also went silent, most likely taken out by a sun flare or an unlucky hit by a small rock.

Besides very primitive bacteria these old worlds were totally barren. Which wasn’t a surprise as their host star tended to flood the system with harsh radiation from time to time. But still, those worlds were a lucky find! Every single one could be terraformed to garden worlds over a couple of centuries and while the stellar outbursts were pretty deadly they were also quite rare and easy to predict.

The most promising planet had been ‘e’. It had a thick CO² atmosphere and was pretty warm at 80° but given we could capture the CO² and process it to O², and thus lowering the temperature, we could easily make it to a tropic paradise over the next three hundred years. Not that I would see the end of this as I only had around 100 years left on my biological clock.

Planet ‘d’ had a thin Nitrogen atmosphere with some CO² mixed in and sulphur clouds and most likely boiling hot hurricanes, ‘f’ was a winter world with short summers and traces of O² from its simple bacteria while ‘g’, ‘h’ and the even more remote worlds had been just frozen Snow Balls for billions of years. Still, those would be the first worlds we had planned to land on as building warm housings on these silent frozen worlds was a lot easier than taming boiling hot rainfall and CO² thunderstorms. Also we wanted to preserve the primitive life on ‘f’, at least for the time being. And even the Snow Ball Worlds would give us the resources we would need to continue our endeavour.

Before I had finished my thought I drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 2: Three Ships and one Puzzle

“Your shift, Doctor Fossey.”

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and looked around. My first shift. Lieutenant Gonzales and Ensign Yoon stood next to my chamber and helped me to get up.

“Little Change of Plan, you are taking the second shift instead the fourth. Doctor Landau wants you to check the spectrographs. They seem to be misaligned he said.”

“Well, you are lucky, I have nothing else to do. And just call me Mich. Anything else worth mentioning?”

“Except having left behind the solar halo and now running of full power? Nothing.”

When I stood up I felt the full weight of my body due to us accelerating at 1.5g – an uneasy and exhausting experience. I decided to hit the gym later to build up some more muscles.

After a little welcome meal with the others of the first and second shift Doctor Landau gave us a short oversight. The Spectrographs showed slightly different values for the atmosphere of planet ‘d’, less than one per Mille, all six spectrographs over all three ships showed the same data while historic records dating back half a thousand years never showed anything like that.

For the next three months I double checked everything I could. Planet ‘d’ seemed to undergo a small but interesting change. A tiny bit more CO², a weeny trickle of more atmosphere... Whatever was the reason, it might not be just a sensor fluke. Maybe a volcanic eruption or an asteroid impact. But as it was minor and we were far too far away I left the analysis to the next shift and went back to cryo sleep.

And awoke after a time- and dreamless sleep to the Captain and three scientists.

“James, sorry to wake you up again. Fifth shift.” Captain McDowell himself greeted me” Don’t worry, we just wanted to hear your opinion about the new data, then you are off to sleep again.”

So much brass and lametta, the lead scientist, the Captain, the colonist speaker.

“Sounds Serious?”

“Maybe. You are the Specialist for Spectrography. Tell us how serious it is.”

One hour later the freshly awoken full scientist team was up to date. Planet ‘d’ had decided to change a lot. Its atmosphere had increased nearly 3 percent, the amount of CO² and even Oxygen had risen way beyond a suspected sensor fluke. And no Vulcan or Asteroid would produce so much Oxygen.

Something was very off but we were still 39 light years away. After we had eloquently assured each other we knew shit everyone went to sleep again. Because we couldn’t do anything else.

Over the next 60 years I got woken up another nine times. Planet ‘d’ had started to develop a Terran Atmosphere. No doubt about it. And the speed of the transformation was breathtaking, even more as we were moving towards TRAPPIST-1 with a good fraction of the speed of light and more or less saw a time lapse of what was going on.

Did this endanger our plans? Well, no. We were aiming for the cold worlds of ‘g’ and ‘h’ for a start and then would Terraform ‘e’ next. ‘d’ was never on our near agenda. But still… what was happening?

Aliens. It must have been Aliens. No, why should Aliens Terraform a world for us? A miracle from God? Well, maybe but why on a world we weren’t even looking to use. Did Terra build a FTL ship which had overtaken us and started to terraform the worlds? But wouldn’t they tell us? Had we been forgotten? Radio transmissions would take decades and would give us answers only after we arrived so we really couldn’t ask for outside help.

In the end we agreed to not agree on anything even as the miracle become greater and greater. On my last shift before planet-fall I could even see on remote scans that the surface of the planet had dramatically changed! From a rusty brown with tiny spots of yellowish clouds and small dirty water puddles to a thick green foliage covering the whole habitable zone of the planet. And even a bit beyond. Much more clouds, more water, an ocean actually. The transformation must have had slowly been going on even decades before we started our journey but due to distance we only saw the first signs 40 years later. Now, 70 years later, we had data from 110 years, all pointing to a massive and fast transformation of a whole planet. And to satisfy your curiosity, no signs of aliens, no gods, no FTL from Terra either.

...

continues in comments...

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20
Perserverance (i.imgur.com)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/hfy
 
 

Credit to u/IUpvoteUsernames for this text.


I was told that if I did things right, they wouldn't remember me. They wouldn't know my name, my age, my home, nothing. Not a damn thing. I'm not exactly sure I pulled that off. I think a few know my name, I think I might even be some kind of legend. But I still think I did things right.

I was among the first ten thousand humans that volunteered for the ISPF - the Interstellar Peace Fleet. we had just been invited into the fold of a vibrant galactic community, and while no one paid us much mind or expected too much from us, we expected a lot from ourselves. Unfortunately, the human body is only so strong. By week three, seven thousand humans had washed out, and that was before any of the real physical training started.

Humans are small compared to most everyone else - in the ISPF, anyway. Hulking monsters exist within the fleets ranks, beings that could do my workload twice over. Some did. See, the range of species in the ISPF is far too diverse for any standardized training regimen. The instructors are as smart as they are mean; each and every single one of them knows the anatomy and biology of every single species in the fleet, and tailors the training towards individuals. A lot of guys in my division got the kind of training that would kill a human in twenty minutes. The instructors drove me almost to death, but even next to my shipmates, it seemed like my training was a breeze.

They resented me for it too. They were doing twice the work, if not more, than I was doing but I still got to stand at attention beside them. I still ate in the galley beside them, I still marched beside them. I could see the question in their eyes every time I met one of their gazes; why does this puny thing get to hang with us? And I'll be honest, I asked myself the same question too. I may be working at my maximum capacity, but my maximum is some other guys fifty percent. Who would want me fighting by his side when he could have the centipede dude that can climb walls or the red gorilla-lizard thing that could bite a slab of concrete to pieces?

I got the answer to that question by week seven. By now, rumor had gotten around I was the last human still in training; all the others had washed out. Anyway, a new obstacle reared its head for us. In the human training camps, there's always that wooden wall. You see it for the first time and it looks like it's fifty meters tall and you don't know how you're gonna get over it. They've got something like that in the ISPF. We called it the morphing wall. It changed shape and height and texture based on whatever species was currently using it. The centipede guy, for example, he was the first one up. Soon as be touched the wall it turned as smooth as glass with barely a bump on it and arched over him so that he'd have to climb upside down half way up. It took him twenty minutes to scrabble his way and even then, he fell off when climbing upside down. Another one of my shipmates went up, Archopex, a sort of bird-looking thing with mean-looking talons. As soon as he touched the wall it turned into smooth rock. He would dig his talons in to make footholds. Even with that advantage, the rock was too hard for him to dig in. He fell off ten meters up and the safety tether stopped his fall.

Then it was my turn. I felt everyone's eyes on me like lasers. They must've thought I was gonna get a fence or something. Maybe a little green hedge for me to hop over. I was actually kind of expecting that compared to the hell I just saw the other guys go through. I touched the wall. It didn't change, not at first. Then it just went crazy, first it was glass, then it was spiked like a sea urchin, then it changed to vines and stone. It kept changing shape, never settling on anything. I heard someone yell for something but I didn't pay it much mind.

Finally the morphing wall had found the shape for me. It was a bare rock face with crystals that crept up like veins along the surface. The crystals were hard as metal and cut my hands very easily. There weren't many handholds for me besides the crystals. But I wouldn't shy away, this was my wall now, my chance to prove myself, I jumped up and grabbed hold. Only three meters up and I had already gashed my hand. By the tenth meter, I had ripped off two fingernails. The crystals were the only real way up, the handholds in the cool rock were a welcome reprieve from the hellish pain the crystals brought, but were too far apart to reliably traverse without touching the razor-edged crystals. I looked down and saw the blood trail from my hands had hit the bottom. By the time I had reached the top my arms were noodles, my hands sliced to ribbons. The way down was just as hard as up. I was nearly in tears from the pain. I collapsed onto the ground from two meters up, barely breaking my fall with my hands and legs as the safety tether snapped taught.

I tried to get up but I couldn't. I think I had lost too much blood to really think straight. A corpsman was called over, fixed up my hands as best he could without taking me to medical and then stood me up. I heard the clacking of my instructor's boots as he approached. I didn't have the energy to even look up. I tried putting my legs together, tried to stand as straight as I could, but I couldn't look up. All I saw were his boots pointed opposite mine.

"What the fuck is wrong with you recruit?" he shouted. It took a lifetime but I finally lifted my head. I didn't dare meet his gaze, but I swear to this day I saw a bit of pride in his eyes. I was his recruit after all. At the time I didn't understand, something he must've sensed. He pointed to one of my shipmates; a blue and green 2.5 meter tall humanoid with six arms big enough to tear me in half. "That was his wall, recruit" said my instructor, "his wall. I yelled a hundred times for you to fucking stop. You hard of hearing recruit?" I lazily shook my head. "Get the fuck back in line."

The rest of the day was uneventful. Some people made it over the wall, some didn't. It wasn't until lights out that night my shipmates clued me in. The centipede guy told me the instructor only yelled once, and it was for a technician to come calibrate the wall, since no human had ever touched it before. As soon as I grabbed hold of the first piece of crystal, the instructor didn't say another word and motioned for the technician to stop. When I asked how it could've been the other guy's wall since he hadn't touched it, someone chimed in that human DNA most closely matched Jolako DNA, so that's what the wall gave me.

No one would openly pat me on the back or anything but after that, I never saw the question it their eyes anymore. I had a seat at the table, a spot in the formation, I had earned my place.

Four weeks later, I was the only human at the graduation. During the first year of my tour I learned five thousand other humans had passed through training since my graduation. Not a single one of them ever climbed a wall meant for humans.

Humans might not be better than anyone else, but we rise to the challenge like everyone else. We can fight alongside the bad-asses of the galaxy, and they would be glad to have us fight alongside them.

Reddit link https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/6irjdl/perserverance/

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Deterrence (self.hfy)
submitted 2 years ago by Crass_Spektakel to c/hfy
 
 

Deterrence

For us, the people of the planet earth, it was just another cold war. World Economy and Security Treaty vs. Asian Axis, the Southern Union trying to play us against each other. Tens of thousands of nuclear arms all over the world, tens of millions of soldiers under arms, huge parts of our wealth wasted to make us look bigger than our enemy. We lived in constant fear of the coming Armageddon, the accidentally pressed red button, the collapsing biosphere.

Then the Prime came, the oldest and wisest under the stars, and offered us a solution. All of their technology if we abandoned our arms race. If we abandoned our nuclear weapons, dissolved our armies, solved our petty squabbles.

And their technology was amazing! Eternal Life. Endless Energy. Untold Knowledge.

All we had to do was to stop wasting our resources at our endless arsenals. Weapons build to fight ourselves, so powerful we couldn’t even use them without risking total annihilation. That was their only request.

Everybody agreed this would be a great idea. Everybody agreed we should start today. Then we looked at each other. And decided to wait until tomorrow, to see what our enemies would do meanwhile. They also waited. So did the Prime. And so nothing happened.

When the Prime became impatient we felt ashamed. Told them we weren’t ready. So the Prime warned us we were close to our own annihilation. The prophecy of these wise elders filled the world with fear. Did it change anything? Yes. We increased defense spending, increased our arsenals. To make sure our enemies wouldn’t survive us.

This made the Prime furious! They demanded concessions, compliance, to safe us from ourselves.

We listened to the Prime but we didn’t hear them. We talked with our enemies but didn’t understand them.

So for the first time since the universe formed the Prime made a threat! Bow to our demands or be annihilated. We are older than you. We are wiser than you. We outnumber you. We rule the skies. We will not allow such foolishness to exist!

Still we couldn’t find together, couldn’t keep our side of the bargain. Instead our internal hostility increased tenfold. New alliances formed between those who followed the Prime, those who followed them also but for other reasons, those who just wanted to be left alone. In the end the world was a powder keg and the fuse was burning.

There was no hope we would be able to fulfill our side of the bargain. We just waited for the Prime to annihilate us. Like we could do anything about it.

And we waited.

And waited.

Nothing happened. We never heard of the Prime again. They were just gone. We thought they had left us behind to die by our own weapons. Which didn’t happen because we knew about the power of our weapons. So with time life became normal again. Not without fear. Not without strive. And surely not peaceful. The normal countdown to midnight ticked as usual, we faced our own annihilation by our own hands every day.

Our weapons got rusty, our alliances fell apart, replaced by new ones. The Prime? A Myth. Nearly forgotten. We lived, we died. Made errors, claimed victories.

And suddenly a tiny ship from a cunning entrepreneur made it across the stars and brought back grave news. Billions of worlds laid in ash. A civilization spanning the know universe snuffed out in a universal firestorm. The Prime didn’t leave us behind. They went extinct, shortly after they had threatened us with our own annihilation.

A new arms race began, a new space race began. Whoever or whatever vanquished the Prime needed to be taken serious. Humanity started to search the stars for the enemy. Erected Outposts, repaired broken worlds, created new Empires, spread over trillions of stars, searching for the enemy. We found new enemies but only among us. Out of a trillion ships searching for the enemy all but one only found enemies between ourselves. Only the horror of our own weapons kept us from annihilating ourselves. Never did we change.

Then one ship out of a trillion found the last Prime. We brought it in front of humanity and demanded answers.

The Prime killed themselves. It happened so quick, so unexpected that they didn’t understand it themselves until the last Prime looked back and put the pieces together.

They prepared to annihilate us. Build Weapons to met us. Weapons so horrible they filled their own with fear. So their own build more horrible weapons to defend themselves from themselves. Within months their arsenal expanded on a scale beyond imagination. And then one pressed the red button because weapons were build to be used, otherwise they would be wasted. Alliances were build, enemies annihilated, more weapons poured in, a firestorm rolled over the universe, escalating exponentially. Six months after the press of the red button there were no Prime anymore.

We asked the last Prime why they had been so stupid.

It looked back at the past and came to a conclusion: Because the Prime never understood Deterrence. But the humans did.

The prime demanded to be freed of its existence and we complied with this demand, nothing to be learned from the Prime anymore.

We still waste resources on deterrence. We still try to intimidate each other. We still had learned nothing. The only ones who had learned something were the Prime. And it cost them everything.

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submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by Crass_Spektakel to c/hfy
 
 

Born in the light of Stephanie McKinley

“Mum, why do I have my name?”

Since the little chicken had hatched it was the first time it thought about anything else than eating and sleeping. She tried to say her full name as good as she could:

“Chukulap Tschitschad Stebbane Maginli Wellnested… why is it like that?”

“Stephanie McKinley my dear” explained her mother “Stef-a-nie Mac-Kin-ley”.

“Sefnanie… Stefaanie Makinli… why is my name so hard to speak?

Her mother knelled down on her chicken and took it under her wings “Oh, that is your Lightname. It comes from another language, another time. Some lightnames are very hard to pronounce but you’ll learn with time.”

The little chicken shuffled though her mothers feathers with her beak for a while.

“What is a lightname?”

Her mother look wondering at the little chicken. Was she really already old enough to ask such questions?

“A lightname is the name of a fallen Angel who saved our ancestors from eternal damnation. You should always wear it with pride.”

“Stepaani Makinlei. I think it sounds strange.”

But still Chukulap wore it with pride. When she became old enough for school she learned others had also lightnames. So many different but none two had the same. Robert Mueller, Gracia Afonso, Iro Yamata, Pacifique Mutombo. All sounded strange and all were different. But the best of the lightname: Once a year it was lightname day and she always got small presents, some sweets and a hug from her parents.

At her twelfth lightname day she again happily received a pack of sweat leafs and a little book. ‘About your lightname’ by Roztolon Stephanie McKinley Ironsmith. Another strange name. She looked at the publishers name and froze in awe – the book was written by an alien from a species she never heard before, over a million years ago, and he claimed to have served alongside the Angels!

She looked at her grandma which smiled back to her “I hope you appreciate such a gift despite your young age. It was a lucky find from extrasolar books and it took more than two years to deliver." - after that Mum and Grandma had a short discussion about expensive gifts but Chukulap didn’t listen, instead she started to read the book and didn’t stop for two days until she finished it and became even prouder of her heritage. So when a year later she was tasked with giving a free presentation of her choice to her class she decided to talk about lightnames. Her lightname in specific.

A long time ago all stars in the sky and beyond were under rule of the exalted dark ones. Beings older than the light of stars, beings holding rule over everything dead or alive. They were gods among mortals, Titans above Ants. For them the stars were their playground and the beings under them their toys. Their rule was strict, not to say cruel, and those who were smart enough submitted to their might in the vain hope to avoid cruelness for another day.

In their hubris they ignored a small world at the farthest end of the cosmos, a world where an unruly but smart animal rose to power at an astonishing speed. Where less than 3000 years ago they build huge pyramids to honor the exalted dark ones they now build schools of knowledge, temples of finances, machines of war and wings to the stars. They even dared to forgot about the exalted dark ones.

So when the exalted dark ones returned they brought wrath and terror upon those misguided animals. They send thousands of their most mighty warriors against these feeble creatures, tasked to punish the disbelievers, raze their cities and demand tribute.

Instead they received their mighty warriors back. Hacked into small pieces, desecrated and with a declaration of war. War was something new to the exalted dark ones but it sounded interesting. So they send millions of warriors where thousands wouldn’t do, to make an example. Their warriors killed the animals in the millions but did they learn? No. They didn’t. They adapted and annihilated the warriors again. Not by strength, not by might, but by unity, ingenuity, morality and protectiveness. And this time they send a threat: If the exalted dark ones ever dared to cross the path of humanity again their doom would be sealed.

Though the exalted dark ones didn’t listen. They pulled all their might together. From endless galaxies they pulled their champions together, gathered an armada the universe hadn’t seen before. And endless tide of terror flooded against the worlds around the human star. At first their endless horde vanished like ocean waves against a cliff of stone. But over time they eroded the stubborn humans. Until there was nothing more. Even the planets had been turned to dust, leaving a dead cloud of debris around the humans star.

But the price was high. The exalted dark ones had used everything at their hand and had paid a terrible price. For every human they lost a hundred champions, for every city they lost entire fleets. The ranks of their peasants were filled with trauma and their lesser lords started to question the superiority of their leaders.

In the chaos of the aftermath countless humans escaped on their own crude ships, sneaked aboard the enemy fleet, vanished between the stars. Over time the tale of a stubborn race resisting the exalted dark ones spread between the stars. Strange bipedal creatures hiding themselves under dark cloaks started to teach how to resist. A cult of resistance breed under the stars, telling of a world where the exalted dark ones had faced defeat, paid in blood.

Another world resisted and was put to ash. Then another four. Again they received no mercy. When a huge fiefdom felt mistreated it started to support another revolt and soon hundreds of worlds fought against the oppressors. Then thousands, soon millions, a galaxy burned, then a cluster of galaxies.

And thus the prophecy of the humans came true and the doom of the exalted dark ones was sealed.. Their empire crumbled to dust and even their name was forgotten, just like the humans who had sparked the revolt.

Until humanity returned to their home star and build a tomb. Not just some tomb but by far the most impressive one ever. They used the debris from their worlds to form a Dyson Sphere around their home star and engraved the names into the sphere, of those who had fallen against the exalted dark ones. So that the light of their home star could shine outside and send the names of the fallen ones to a free universe and make their names forever part of the eternal light cone of history.

The first 120 billion names were human names. Then came another 30 septillion names, covering the whole sphere with a diameter of 300 million kilometers, naming those who followed in the foot steps of the humans.

And while the sphere rotated once in a human year every child born anywhere in the universe under the light of a name got this name as lightname. And hers was Stephanie McKinley. She spoke it flawless after years of practice.

Stephanie McKinley died at the age of 17 while serving in an artillery company in the defense of Aberdeen. She loved horses and books and wanted to become a veterinarian. Nothing else is know of her but she will always be remembered.

...

For all those who died far too young fighting in a war brought upon them.

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Inofficial alternate version of The Defence of Kailos

Two Cruisers with Ammunition

We were first confronted with the human approach to war during the defense of Solaik. Another Xen’thic hive swarms was marauding through the local galaxy arm and Solaik stood in their way. So far out the Galactic Council was spread thin and we had to call for help from all sentient beings in the region.

Most local powers responded with everything they could spare. The Weaponthanes send two of their largest dreadnoughts and several battleships, the Retsbol brought six carriers on the field with nearly one thousand fighters and bombers, the artificial super mind send its most advanced phazor FTL artillery and the Ganlin projected several shield bubbles over the whole fleet. Over a dozen species gathered this fleet numbering in the hundreds of capital ships to defend the world of Solaik. The fleet spread for tens of thousand klicks around the councils city ship, the core of the defenders fleet.

Shortly before the hive came into firing range we received a message from the human union, an uprising power from the neighbouring spiral arm. They announced their support and would join us with “two cruisers and ammunition”. This is the literal wording they used.

We accepted their support with warm words but didn’t expect that two cruisers would do much. We simply delegated them to join our left flank upon arrival. We didn’t put much thought into their support as the battle was about to begin.

When the enemy showed up our blood froze! By tonnage they easily outweighted us five to one, every single of their battleships and carriers out weighted ours twice or thrice. But the worst was the world ship in the centre – a ship as huge as a moon, hundreds of klicks wide and its first deed was firing a rail gun at the council city ship, a projectile nearly as large as a shuttle at 7.000km/s, obliterating the city ship with one single shot!

The fleet command fell upon me, with my Narleth Assault Dreadnought, the Bringer of Swift Death, taking the lead! We charged into battle just as the human returned into real space close to its designated position.

My XO noted that the human fleet was larger than announced and I gave him freedom to place them as needed while I took responsibility to stop the Xen’thic hive swarm. While barking commands I heard my XO evaluating the unexpected reinforcements.

Two light missile cruisers, lots of sensors but only point defence and a decent amount of medium sized anti-ship missiles, good enough to pummel an enemy battleship or two at most.

Then 24 featureless ships. Twice as large than the cruisers but without any visible weapons. No hangar doors, no docking clamps. Just huge tubes in space with huge engines at their back. Most likely freighters. It was a foolishness to bring them so close to the fight but at the very least they could absorb some shots that would otherwise damage our ships. Then I chose to ignore them.

The fight was going bad. After nine minutes the world ship fired again and vaporized a Weaponthane dreadnought while our combined fleet had only been able to scratch its massive shielding!

I was already planning an ordered retread when suddenly 24 ships left formation and charged at the enemy! It were the human freighters!

Riding on bright nuclear fire they rode into sure death, the radiation of this brutal propulsion alone should easily kill every microbe aboard these suicidal ship! And if anything would survive the radiation then the acceleration of well above 100g would crush every living being into a wet puddle on the back wall!

After less then a minute they were moving 80km/s, still accelerating madly. They passed through the enemies fighters, just ignoring the fighters fire, the human ships didn’t return fire and continued accelerating at such a breathtaking speed the enemies fighters couldn’t even think about following them!

Passing 200km/s they crossed the enemy destroyer echelon, taking multiple hits from point defence and smaller anti-ship missiles. The larger anti-ship-missiles couldn’t even turn around fast enough, none the less follow. Again the human ships didn’t even try to fight and soaked all the damage inflicted up in an insane amount of armour – like the whole ship was one single block of steel???

With deep craters and glowing marks from lasers all over the hull the engines of these ships burned finally out at 450km/s. Lasers and light weapons started to focus on these ships, melting some of them partially but not stopping a single one. They drifted at 450km/s in space for a couple of seconds. Unstoppable.

Then the first ship smashed into the world ship! At 450km/s their kinetic energy was absurd! It smashed at 10 Exajoule into the city ships shields, creating an explosion equal to two billion tons of TNT, partially vaporized while doing so but still thousands of fragments smashed into the superstructure, creating explosions in the Petajoule range, every single one equal to a city killer nuclear weapon!

The whole front of the world ship glowed hotter than the surface of a star but that was just the beginning! Another of these strange ship smashed into the hellish inferno – and smashed a hole straight through the moon sized construct, blowing out billions of tons of inner structure outwards on the back side! Like someone shot a bullet through an apple the rest of the world ship simply exploded away from the flight path of the projectile! And even though some debris was still larger than our largest ships it was obvious it was as good as dead…

But it didn’t stop there. Over the next minute the enemy lost 18 of its 20 largest ships. Every single ship getting rammed by these insane constructs was a total loss for the enemy, their formation fell apart and with their backbone broken the tide of the battle turned to our favour!

It was then when my XO told me the human captains of the Zeus and Apollo had asked to fall back and replenish their ammunition. Their cruisers though hadn’t fired a single shot and it finally dawned on me…

By the gods, the humans shot cruiser sized ships as ammunition at their enemies!

I just hope that they accept excuses if we ever anger them by accident.

...

This was inspired by one of the first true HFY stories ever, "The Defence of Kailos", and decided to put it upside down for just more of MOAR. Actually I put in several cameos but those are VERY well hidden so I can safely promise to eat my own story printed on paper if someone finds all of them.

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submitted 2 years ago by deathworlder to c/hfy
 
 

I first witnessed the extent of Human creativity during the defense of Kailos. The Xen’thic hive swarms were to attack this world next. Growing desperate to stop the horde, we issued a call for aid to every species in the Alliance. The Human Empire responded much as the other races did, with the majority of their military navy joining us in orbit above the planet, along with the smaller, more haphazard civilian volunteers they brought along with them. Most were mercenary ships or even pirates, the Humans own navy had already retrofitted many of the cargo freighters as Carrier ships, a few crazy captains had turned their vessels into fire-ships. I was a Communications Officer on the lead ship of a Narleth Assault Dreadnought formation, the Bringer of Swift Death. I remember well the civilian ship that had been assigned to our squadron, the Superheavy-freighter Atlas and her Captain. The Atlas was a massive ship, larger even than our own, a full 5 Hetras in length.

My Captain was annoyed, why did we have to get weighed down with such an ugly burden? His anger was tempered though by the words of his Commander that the Atlas would at the very least absorb some shots that would otherwise damage our ships. My captain, not even bothering to discover the Atlas’s armament, had her move into formation above and to the fore of our own vessel. We would find out what sort of weaponry she had soon enough, as the great enemy's fleet had been detected at the edge of the system. Things gained a new haste as we manoeuvred into position, I kept a close eye on our new ally as my Captain commanded, watching on the display screen as the Atlas’s cargo doors partially opened and racks, loaded with what looked like small rockets were extended. ‘So that’s how she’s armed?’ I thought to myself.

When we were ordered to attack, I would find out just how heavily she was armed. We began our approach, the Captain of the Atlas surprised us with his discipline, he hadn’t issued the order to fire yet. We hit weapons range and the order was given to fire. Our highly trained weapon crews were pouring pinpoint laser fire into the approaching fleet before they could get the first shot back at us. It was when the enemy fire was impacting on our shields that we saw the distorted cloud of fire that came from above our ship. At first I thought that the Atlas had been destroyed, but it wasn’t so. As I watched on, the screens indicated that she was surrounded by a storm of fire, the streaking fire of rocket exhaust.

She was launching her payload like nothing I had ever seen. We Narleth prefer to fight with Laser batteries. What I had thought were launch racks were more like ramps, acting to guide the rockets as the Atlas’s Captain simply dumped them into space. Then their engines fired, sending them streaking towards the enemy. Not two or three at a time like our own massive anti-ship missiles, but in their thousands. A never-ending stream of explosive death was spat towards the enemy, in a way I had never dreamt possible. Any enemy ships that made the mistake of getting in the way of the Atlas were quickly ground to nothing but debris as thousands of rocket hits took their toll. The constant bombardment rapidly dropped enemy shields and smashed entire bomber waves, however the smaller missiles were not so effective against the heavily armored shells of the enemy capital ships. While the Atlas had a few capital ship kills to her name, it took tens of thousands of hits to achieve each one. We quickly learned a much more effective means of destruction. We were to follow in close formation with the Atlas until the missile hits had caused a shield breach somewhere, at which point our own laser batteries would exploit the rift, destroying enemy ships quicker than we could have without her support.

It turns out the Captain of the Atlas had been offloading a shipment at an old military station when the call for aid was sent. He had been a gunnery officer in the Human navy, and knew some of the depots storing old and now outdated orbital attack munitions, something that was left behind with the Empire’s military mobilized to our aid. Using some contacts, he had quickly jumped from station to station, filling his holds and turning his ship into an improvised missile boat, with a staggering amount of ammunition. That day he came to our aid armed with 4,030,020 ground attack missiles, when we limped home victorious that day her hold was empty. Now I am gladder than ever we are an ally of the Humans as I witness the launching of their new Atlas class Missile attack Dreadnought.

Note: Thanks to u/IUpvoteUsernames for transcribing this awesome story.

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Read part 1 here

This was the true nature of humanity. To stop at nothing once they had set their collective mind to a task to either prove it true or deny it as a falsehood. In the breadth of two short Terran lifetimes, they had mastered the art of manipulating what they called “Dark Energy” which we know as the Cosmological Repulsive Law. Fifty years later, they had traveled as far as the innermost galactic core (to be noted, a suicidal trek that only the desperate would engage in). Ten years after that, they began to mass produce antimatter on an unparalleled scale. Ocular spiracles turned, attention drifted from the inane squabbles of their own to the insane human populace as they exploded instead of trickled from their solar system to neighboring stars. They stripped every unclaimed world they touched of whatever the soil or atmosphere would allow to them, only to further accelerate their growth that would rival the great empires that now are long gone.

From this, the Galactic Council became unnerved. The Terrans spreading across their own “backyard”, they expediently started to make headway into the secrets of the universe that, as of yet in this entry, few others had breached. Due to our “friendship” of centuries gone by, the humans have had nothing but a peaceful, amicable, and symbiotic relationship with us, the orchestrators of their advance. They would begin to catch up to our own level of technology and understanding, yet untempered by the wisdom of age and experience. With exponential growth, they’d overtake us in almost all things. In recognition and gratitude of our dealings with each other, they shared their advances with us, and we Santari would happily share what we could without question. We had become one of the most intertwined and mutually beneficial allies of the entire galaxy.

To be sure, the Council saw all of this as nothing but heretical. They dominated the galaxy, they had every other race “under their thumb” as the humans would say. To advance beyond what they deemed appropriate was nothing short of chastising a god in the minds of other species. In the past, they had sent probes to the Terran homeworld called Earth, attempting to dissuade them from advancing too quickly. The Council, in their vast superiority to any other, never allowed technological advancement of any species beyond what they were comfortable with. They had the power and means to enforce these rules to any and all in the Core Worlds and wouldn’t lightly give it up. They offered admittance to the alliance the Council controlled, but as such, they would need to adhere to many laws that stunt quick growth, and only sign off on research on what they would allow. In return, trade lanes would be opened up to Sol and her watery rock, they would gain a seat on the Council, and would be defended from whatever plight may come to them. They even brought schematics for a neural implant that would allow the humans total access to logical ways of thinking, bringing everlasting peace to their kind. The only downside was they’d have to put aside creativity in favor of being taken care of.

Humanity saw this for what it truly was, it is the same reason we denied the Council as well. It was an insidious means of control. They would have none of it and destroyed the probe that sent this message as a final “fuck you” to the galaxy.

Through fear and just a hint of jealousy at their willingness to deny the Council, our two species would soon become scorned, the community of the Milky Way lashing out against us for bringing such an unknown variable unto them all, and by proxy the Council. Due to the Terrans living on the very fringe of the galaxy, outside the arm of influence of the Council, many of our worlds and star systems were razed to but bitter molten metal. Billions of us Santari laid exterminated for a “crime” we committed in swift and brutal sieges. Over a century, we retreated behind the lines of the humans. This is when their virtues of acceptance of those not of Earth finally became one of their most endearing qualities that we Santari would never forget. This is when we embraced the humans as much as they had us. As hard as it was for us to leave our home, they did their absolute most to find and terraform planets for us to settle on.

Looking back, we actually did so little for them that it is disgraceful to us. In our graciousness, we worked as hard as we could for them. Still, they would never allow our kind to feel such inadequacies. When our exoskeletons started to buckle, they would find us non-physical labor. When our nerve bundles became overwhelmed with our duty, they would force us to “take it easy” and rest. Many who would read this would think that we had been forced to work, that in return for asylum in their territory, we’d break our appendages toiling for them. Nothing could be further from the truth. We, as a species, were so honored by their acceptance and open arms that we felt indebted to quite literally work ourselves to termination for such unabashed camaraderie. Terrans, however, would surprise us yet again by allowing us to rebuild our society, with New Xenathiks being only 7 light years away from Earth. Their territory was our territory, their homes were our homes.

During these times, they knew a force to be reckoned with would be coming. Preparedness became paramount. War was inevitable, and their distance from the outer Core Worlds gave them the time they needed. Breeding increased with incredible speed, mining of entire star systems became the norm, construction of dreadnaught class starships began with the newest weapons brought to bear. The Terrans then took the brunt of the force as the Council’s forces advanced. Nearly one quarter of their outer colonies laid waste in an effort to quell their expansion. We did what we could, given the vast resources the Terrans allotted to us. Working side-by-side, our now small numbers labored until our carapaces would no longer allow, or until we were forced to stop.

Before this log continues, I should note a particular un-named Humanity Scholar who once quoted “Conflict breeds creativity”. Creativity, as a human construct, was its defining characteristic millennia before their journey to the stars, yet would prove most valuable now more than ever for them and ourselves.

Within fifteen years of the first Galactic Armada advance into their territory, their population exploded nearly threefold when their political structure began utilizing Terran and Santari propaganda. Within another ten years, the now 8.4 trillion humans had finished constructing fleets of unrivaled scale and destructive power. Their speed of breeding, construction, harvesting, and innovation became that of legend. Over the next fifty years, they held their ground - training every new combatant with the skills necessary to operate every basic facet of a starship, with us Santari being trained and taught alongside them. Again, they’d be at the forefront of our own advance. The Terrans never let up, and never let us fall behind in terms of education and brotherhood.

Obliterating every last ship that dared to face them, they then sent a second and third wave of ships to reinforce the line. Over the next single short year, they breached the front lines of the armada. Their natural chemically enhanced minds from adrenaline during battle would serve them well enough to laugh in the face of death and not even feel a mortal wound from combat. From there, one hundred years later, they had pushed into the heart of the Council’s Core Worlds. Over the next 200 years, they would either conquer, obliterate, or force the surrender of any species that stood in their way, while chartering peace treaties with those who had stayed out of the war and putting the Santari at the highest echelons of non-Terran politics. The ban on research was abolished, and a new age of enlightenment and technological might exploded throughout the galaxy.

We had done comparatively nothing for them. We never served their interests until they were beyond us, we gave them the worst of trade deals in the early years, and we thought nothing of them besides mere apes. Their own ingenuity would have brought all of this to the same end regardless of our intervention. Now, while the Milky Way stands as a united and prosperous whole, dominated by the “lowly” humans, we have only a single thing to say: Terrans are beyond horrifying, but are the best of allies. Woe be to any who stands against them.

-Karnitegal, First in the Order of the Historical Records.

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Humans

This species is short, creative, stubborn, decently intelligent, and individually are weak, yet in numbers are incredibly hardy, robust, and strong. They breed quickly, live short and futile lives, and for the smallest of reasons will kill each other without a second thought. Many have had low expectations of this brutish and barbarous species. They were beneath us more than any other race in terms of culture, art, technology, and social programs so while their least desirables were worked hard and rewarded little, their ‘aristocratic’ counterparts flocked to the heavens, eager to join the thriving extra-stellar community. Naive to the structure of galactic politics, the Terrans would push themselves onto whatever race would lend counsel to their primitive auditory communications. Many left them to their own devices, shamelessly and rightfully leaving them to the harsh realities of the spacious home we all find ourselves in. We Santari, however, were one of the handfuls of groups that would barter and negotiate agreements with the vermin. We’d trade scraps, derelict and tattered starships, agricultural equipment, and even environmental stabilizing technology them (the barbarians had done more damage to their home planet than any other in the recorded history of intelligent species) for resources worth many hundred times more than what they were worth.

Far be it from us to take advantage of a prime workforce for our resource collection, we did so with a slight amount of smug enthusiasm and deception. pretending to be allies yet giving them the worst treatment in regards to trade agreements and our “gifts of knowledge”. The true irony of it all being that they willfully accepted these downsides under the pretense of furthering intergalactic diplomacy and with the promise of showing others that they were willing, able, and trustworthy. I suppose to this end, the humans had formed a special bond with our insectoid race. We were advancing their civilization at least a hundred of their puny years forward while reaping almost every possible benefit we never deserved.

Little did we understand the error of what we had unwittingly done. In retrospect, we had broken the cardinal rule of the galactic community; without proper diligence, disregard for foresight, and without consulting the Galactic Council, we planted a seed of unrivaled growth in a yet unproven and undeserving race for our own benefit. Their bipedal skeletons with their undeveloped brains relentlessly honed in and trained themselves to grasp the underlying concepts of the machinery and electronics they acquired far faster than any one particular group had ever thought possible. Foregoing the advantages of biological engineering offered to them, they preferred to keep to their fleshy forms for the sake of “preserving humanity”. This line of logic, which still confounds most everyone to this day, would prove invaluable and supremely effective to them. Their “primitive” minds would conjure outlandish and ridiculous notions of the fine fabric of reality that our enhanced nervous systems would outright deny for the sake of simple logic. All soon learned that the human brain, for all of its faults and inefficiencies, was a marvel of creativity of the greatest caliber. Their stubborn nature defied every law of the universe, always amassing new theories to test. More experiments to perform. Never allowing “no” to dissuade them, they’d work a problem from every possible angle in ways which seemed like pure folly. The most damning thing of all being that sometimes, they’d be right and completely shake the foundation of their scientific collaboration.

Part 2

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