Mental Health
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This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.
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You seem to have your mind made up that things can never get better, so I don't think there is anything I can say to you that will get through. But the fact that you posted something online rather than keeping it to yourself makes me think that there's still a part of you that doesn't feel that way. I think reddit banned you because, well it's reddit (what did you expect?) but also because you're acting like you're the only person who struggles with this sort of stuff, which can make other people feel invalidated.
Anyway, I think you would do well to consider that you may have a distorted view of yourself and the world because of your experience so far. If you've lived your whole life in the arctic, it's easy to believe the whole world is frozen.
If your family is cruel to you, that's unlucky that you were born to them, but it says nothing about you. And just because you've never found people who accept you YET, doesn't mean that you won't. You can choose not to believe it, but there ARE people who don't care about things like status or social skills, and who are genuinely caring. I know because I'm friends with some. I can't really recommend anything in particular, because I don't know you or what your life is like. I will say that the reason people recommend hobbies isn't because it can really fill a void in you, but because you could use it to meet people like you. And any group that is more marginalized or countercultural is likely to be more openminded.
Like you were saying, you're in a cycle that's hard to break out from. (no friends -> poor social skills -> harder time making friends. bad life situation -> depression -> harder to change your life ) Personally, I'm in the process of pulling myself out of a similar sort of cycle. It's easy to see yourself as worthless because of where you are in life, but that's a bit of an illusion. You're currently the worst version of yourself right now, because you're running on empty. The best version of yourself isn't some abstract impossibility that you missed your opportunity for, it's actually just you with a full tank and some time. Dismantling all of the negative cycles you're stuck in is extremely difficult, and setbacks are an expected part of the process. But you're not doomed to live the rest of your life as you are now.
Hey, I was just saying reddit is a shitty place, not that you deserved it. Also I'm not sure what you want me to elaborate on. You can't expect me to give you specific instructions when you say nothing about yourself.
I would encourage you to be empathetic to others, and try to put yourself in their shoes. If if you're speaking to other people like you are in this comment, it's not surprising they don't want to be around you. (I know you're suffering and you probably don't mean it to, but this comment comes across as very combative and hostile, which would put many people off.) I'd recommend you read 'how to win friends and influence people', or at least check out an article or video summarizing it.
Also you seem to have a made quite a lot of assumptions about me. I'm not claiming to know any sort of higher truth, not sure where you got that from. I'm unemployed and never had a real career job, I've never been in a real romantic relationship, and I've spent days straight laying in bed too depressed and anxious to leave the house. I just know that I used to not want to be alive and now I do. I'm making progress very slowly, even when it doesn't feel like it. And it's mostly because I've put effort into friendships with others, and because I did a lot of introspection and changed how I view myself and the world.
I appreciate you for the double up on genuine caring responses.
Thanks for trying, in spite of their chaotic spiral.