this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2025

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ADHD

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Remembering things you forgot (self.adhd)

submitted 1 week ago by PolyPig to c/adhd

18 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I was diagnosed with adhd as a young child, and still very often forget stuff. My short term memory can be terrible and I often immediately lose a thought or forget an idea after just a couple of seconds.

However, I'm often able to recall an idea by going back to what I was doing, which is something I never hear other people with adhd talk about. Sometimes all it takes is going back to the visual that triggered the thought or reading back a couple of sentences. This usually doesn't take longer than ~10 seconds. Other times I have to retrace my thought process, which can occasionally take up to a minute... If it takes any longer, then the thought is likely to be lost forever and I always feel terrible when it happens. At times I randomly remember something days later, even though it had felt like the thought was truly lost forever.

Is this common among folks with adhd? I only ever hear people talking about forgetting, and never about remembering.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is why I use a list and I judiciously refuse to let people force things onto the list. It's my list and if it becomes cluttered with crap I will not look at it and just make a new one (i.e. your boss telling you "X is your top priority but you're going to need to do Y first because of a client deadline but the X ticket should be at the top of the column" fucking end me - I've had conversations like this and it makes me want to check my wall for studs so I can safely drive my head through the drywall).

My memory is absolutely rubbish, I have good friends I never think about until I'm with them and then I love every moment. When I'm with my family I have to deal with constant guilt over someone says "Do you remember Sandra who played flute in the band with you?" ... and I smile and nod with no clue who Sandra is. I assume these are pretty common experiences since it seems to be quite a frequent expression of ADHD.

[–] PolyPig 2 points 1 week ago

The second paragraph is especially relatable for me... All the friendships I have lost and would've lost if some friends hadn't put so much effort into keeping in touch with me :(

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

My memory is great.

It's my recall that is actually shit.

So I remember shit that happened when I was three. But I will only ever be able to recall any given memory when it does not fucking matter. If I witnessed a crime, I won't be able to recall anything during the trial; but 3 years later in the shower it'll all come back to me.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Absolutely. I often find that re-tracing my steps makes the thought come back. It makes me wonder if the same set of stimuli would make me have the same thought even eg. a month later

[–] TheBluePillock 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can't remember the specific examples (surprising nobody), but I have had at least a couple occasions where I found traces of something I'd done that showed me I did actually react that exact same way some while previously and forgot about it entirely. In one case, a friend stopped mid conversation to say, "Wait. Haven't we had this exact conversation before?," and I while it wasn't as concrete as finding my own evidence, I was pretty sure he was right.

It's almost like a coping mechanism, even if I don't do it intentionally. My life is a book, but at any given moment I might not know what happened on the last page or three. So I have to just figure it out and act how I would act even when I'm clueless.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

"Wait. Haven't we had this exact conversation before?,"

Haha yes. It's sad how predictable this implies we are.

[–] PolyPig 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Glad to hear I'm not the only one! I feel like what you're describing has kind of happened to me before under certain circumstances. I can't seem to recall a specific example, though :(

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So say im scrolling through my gallery, and a specific sequence of pictures makes me have a thought, which I try to remember, but soon forget. If I go back and look at those pictures again soon enough, they usually re-trigger the forgotten thought.

[–] PolyPig 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

That's exactly how it goes for me! You've made me wonder if I'm actually remembering a thought or if my brain somehow just reconstructs a thought that has a similar vibe. I guess there really is no way to find out. I don't even know what I'm talking about at this point lol.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

I'd say the thought is still there but my brain has just lost its 'connection' to it. And the stimuli somehow start building that connection again

[–] Rhynoplaz 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh that's totally me.

Best way I can describe it is that my mind is the Google homepage. Give it input, and it will spit out everything it knows about that, but by default, it's just a blank page waiting for a question.

I need triggers to jog my memory. Sticky notes are a lifesaver.

[–] PolyPig 1 points 1 week ago

I love your analogy! I may start using it to explain my symptoms to people in the future.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yes.. I realised member everything in the shower.. Even the things I remembered in the shower yesterday....

And have zero ability to get it into my digital journal...

[–] PolyPig 1 points 1 week ago

Same! Showers are magical, although I feel like that's true for most people. What I don't understand, is that I am sometimes able to vividly recall the most useless information that my brain really should've just gotten rid of already.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I tend to put all my epic plans and wise ideas together, and just watch them fade from my mind in real-time as I go back to confusion. Then people wonder why I don't get anything done. Like, how. Physical work is extremely easy compared to this.

[–] PolyPig 2 points 1 week ago

I'm literally experiencing this while replying to these comments. I can come up with the greatest reply, and then watch it slowly fade away. Rereading comments does often help with remembering most of it, though.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yup, it is for me. Visual cues are huge for remembering stuff. I also set constant reminders in multiple places, and make copious use of timers.

[–] PolyPig 2 points 1 week ago

I always like to leave my devices in really unusual spots, so I don't forget to charge them. It works surprisingly well.