maniclucky

Bullets or paragraphs please. My brain hates all of this and won't let me read it.

Complicated. Everyone gets to have opinions and some of those opinions are going to offend people. It's arguably inevitable. The social consequences of having opinions of one kind or another is a pretty standard facet of being human. And validity is non-trivial to define. People have their experiences and they are valid to them but that won't excuse them from the consequences of having an opinion that is shitty (e.g. "Nazis weren't that bad" is an opinion that some people honestly hold and also merits a punch in the nose). So my shitty not really answer is "sort of?".

One caveat (arguably unrelated) is that a lot of people like to state wrong things as opinions (e.g "I think the earth is flat") and will claim that you can't refute them because "that's just my opinion". It's not, it's an objective fact. Those aren't valid.

Side note: I feel like you're trying to lead me to something and I approve of your style even though I feel like I'm about to be wrong about something.

I am.

Yeah, it doesn't, but I wasn't rejecting an offered perspective outright. I've been judging the hell out of it, but I understood it.

You haven't shared a perspective. It's all "but I don't wanna". While badly attempting to refute me.

I judged you (severely and negatively) but I don't have the ability or interest in changing you. Again, I'm saying why a subset of people will be offended by you. If you want to alienate people, feel free.

Your reading comprehension still sucks. I don't know you either and I'm comfortable assuming we would not be friends. I hope people treat you as well as you treat them.

I'm on phone now so I'll tone down the length.

Explain to me how that's immature

Sure, will do. It can be captured in just this reply.

I don't find such talk offensive and neither do my friends

This is it in a nutshell. Your anecdote does not capture the full experience of people even in your own community (self centered). I've provided the perspective of why it's offensive and you've attempted to shout me down (immature). And even with some regular "no you" responses (also immature).

You do in fact make demands of me

Then your reading comprehension sucks. I stated multiple times (at least once explicitly) that you're free to be a shit bag. I did not (and at this point do not) expect you to change your behavior.

You make exactly zero effort to understand why I feel my perspective has legitimacy

Was sounding out what your perspective implies about you as a person, while also reflecting on my own troubles with this exact issue, too subtle for you?

I've read everything you've written and it's all very immature, self-centered, abdication of responsibility paired with conservative level mental gymnastics. You've given me no perspective that I, a gay man from a small midwestern town, haven't personally borne witness to and a little of what I've done once upon a time.

I'm not saying your perspective is wrong, I'm saying it's self centered, lazy, and ultimately detrimental to you and the people around you.

And I’ve no doubt you don’t even realize your oppression and your own bigotry. Do you?

I make no demands upon you so oppression is out. You are free to ignore my observations at any moment and I couldn't care less. Hell, at this point I'm writing for everyone that's not you that's reading this. My statements are based on how your online persona comes across because I don't know anything about you beyond that to be bigoted against. By definition, I'd have to be prejudiced against you for membership in a particular group to be bigoted and the only one you've listed is 'queer' and I'm not that self-hating. You are free to be all the negative things that your online persona appears to be. I'm telling you why people may not want to be around you because of your behavior.

I understand that you don't want to learn. Because that's what you're doing. You want to ignore why people don't want you to say things like that so that the onus isn't on you to change your behavior because that's difficult and/or inconvenient. As above, it's really frustrating to have to learn yet more terms (I still don't quite get allosexual even though I apparently am that or something along those lines?) and then also to have to break associations with things that haven't aged well because then you feel obligated to feel bad for making mistakes even if most of the time people don't care/understand the difficulty.

I don’t think you see the hypocrisy in your own comments.

I never misunderstood that you're close minded. I'll even grant that it can be frustrating to feel like you need a formal course on such things and that it changes entirely too fast and that sometimes it all feels like bullshit (ask me about using the term demisexual wrong* on the internet one time). But the world is made better when we work to understand others, which you've demonstrated that as being a non-priority for you.

It certainly seems to be to many.

Then why are you here?

It's a dissection of why some people in the LGBT community may be offended. If you're unwilling to try to see the perspective of others and choose to instead reject empathy, that's a problem for you and the people around you. This internet stranger will continue to have a good day.

Also, clout? On Lemmy? Oh good, I've got the support of all 12 of us...

You aren't wrong. It's rather philosophical at that point. There's the "don't say it because it's shitty angle" (quasi-mine, though mine was more a explanation vs a held belief) vs the "take it back from them" angle. Both have pros/cons and I'm not going to pretend I have the 'perfect' answer. The truth is probably that whichever is more effective/least damaging probably varies by context.

Sorry OP, we've got two in our home.

But then how do they praise Anoia?