BumpingFuglies

Thought I'd make my first submission here an easy one.

It's a Tran, Zach, Shen trans action transaction.

It all started about 37 years ago. I was born male and I was content. Sure, I was a bit disconnected, like I was just along for the ride and not really part of my own life. "That's just how life is," I thought. "Everybody feels this way, right? So why question it?" I certainly couldn't talk to my verbally and physically abusive, mostly-absent father about it.

I did well enough in school, made mostly male friends, never got bullied, and I was content. Sure, I wanted desperately to know what being female would be like, and jumped at every opportunity to pretend just a bit. "But that's normal, right? Who wouldn't want to be a different gender, at least for a day?"

In my 20s, I met a wonderful woman, we got married, and about 4 years ago, we had a baby. The moment I found out we were having a girl, my heart soared and my mind raced, thinking of all the fun girl stuff I'd finally be able to do using my future daughter as an excuse. "I just wanna be a good, present dad," I thought. "Of course I'll ~~get~~ have to do girl stuff with her!"

Earlier this year, I had a major epiphany and came out as nonbinary (take a look at my post history for that whole story).

I've been trying to figure myself out since then. I defaulted to nonbinary because I'm a dad and don't want to confuse my young daughter, and it meant I could feel comfortable finally embracing my femininity, if only a little. I started wearing skirts and dresses to work, even out into the world at large, and it felt wonderful. I kept my shaved head and big beard, though, because those were my armor.

But I'm a bit impulsive, and a few days ago, I shaved my beard and bought a beautiful, long, colorful wig. I wore it to work earlier this week, and the utter euphoria of my wonderful coworkers referring to me as she/her sent me places I'd never been emotionally. I'd never felt so seen.

But I was still Dad at home, so I couldn't allow myself to consider a full transition.

Being endlessly curious, and definitely not because I wanted to fully transition, I researched gender dysphoria and HRT, and the impacts they can have on the mind. When I got to the section about DPDR - depersonalization and derealization - I was floored. The description reflected exactly how I've felt my whole life up until I started embracing my femininity. "But that's normal, isn't it? ... Everyone doesn't feel this way?"

I had a long talk with my partner yesterday, and she helped me to feel comfortable with the idea of being a trans woman. She assured me that our daughter would adjust and would still love me regardless - that I could still be her dad, even if I wasn't a man.

We went out to a restaurant and did some shopping yesterday, myself in my full feminine attire, wig and all. She wanted to show me off, and I wanted to let her.

I may have a masculine jaw, a pesky beard shadow, and a bit too deep of a voice, but for that brief time that we were out, I was unabashedly a woman. I'd never felt so alive, so present - I was no longer a passenger in my own life.

I was a content, binary male. Then I was nonbinary. Now I'm making my way back to the binary, but this time as a woman.

The next step is scheduling a visit with a gender counselor to get a prescription to start myself on HRT, and I couldn't be more excited.

All the doubt I had about myself is gone, replaced with conviction. I know, finally, what I am. I'm a woman. My body just didn't get the memo.

Edited for typo correction.

Hi all! I recently had a personal renaissance regarding my gender, then I found this community. So, let me introduce myself:

I'm nonbinary demigender. My pronouns are whatever makes the most sense to you at the time. I identify as a man as far as being a dad (with an amazing daughter), but otherwise feel no connection to any gender, and I'm most comfortable balancing my masculinity and femininity. I like to be bearded and beautiful.

To me, my beard and bald head are enough to exemplify my masculinity, so I'm really focusing on expanding my wardrobe to fully incorporate feminine attire. I especially love skirts and dresses.

But it's so. Damn. EXPENSIVE!

I can fit into a few things that my amazing, supportive partner lets me borrow, but I can't just be the younger sister, forever relying on hand-me-downs.

Does anybody have advice for how to get a good start on my wardrobe that won't break the bank? I'm average AMAB size, but with a barrel chest and a slim waist. Women's L & XL usually fit me.

Edit: Looking back, this request for advice was a flimsy premise for an introduction post. I mostly just wanted to join this community, and I didn't want to do so silently.

I got Diablo IV last week and played a lot over the weekend. After 40+ hours (thank you, four day weekend), I realized I wasn't enjoying myself, and was just trying desperately to justify the money spent.

I intentionality avoided news about it, hoping to enjoy finding things out for myself. I now very much regret my willful ignorance. I definitely would've passed on the game if I'd known beforehand that it was effectively an MMO. Forced multiplayer, an open world with too many activities, content balanced for groups of players, endless side quests, and cookie-cutter dungeons. But hey, it has horses! And dodging!

My disappointment is immeasurable and my week is ruined.

On the bright side, it reminded me how much I love Diablo 3. I've been playing that the last couple days to get the bad taste out of my mouth.