BlitzcrankAM

I think a great many of us are learning how it all meshes, and interacts. Many may have a similar complaint to yours, and not aware they can launch their own Instance yet

You did ask, when you joined the Instance you kinda agreed to that instances Admins choices. I mentioned above but if you dont want a "nanny-state" because the Admins of this instance make choices you don't like, you're welcome to launch your own Instance and it will federate with (almost) everyone else at the start, and as the admin of that Instance you can disable who to federate with.

You're able to launch your own Instance and it will federate with everyone and you can do what you have stated.