The Onion

OK, while that was pretty funny, it's also a bit weird to see articles like this from the onion that kind of minimize legitimate problems. Loot boxes in games, for example, are basically gambling for children who don't know any better. Monetization of games is a big deal that needs to be taken more seriously.

While I don't think that's what the onion was going for, here -- they're making fun of people who senselessly decry video games -- the truth is that the gaming industry does have some severe and legitimate problems.

Well, at least he isn’t entering strangers’ homes and breaking all the pots.

Because I played Dragon Quest and Zelda, I developed an unfortunate predilection for walking into strangers houses and smashing pots and vases and stuff. Took years of therapy to break that habit. :(

I still can't even look at a barrel.

Guys it's a real problem. I spent too much time playing Satisfactory, Factorio, and Captain of Industry and now I've been tasked with setting up a couple of production lines at work.

This woman is complaining about her kid wanting to pick up coins? Holy shit, what a complete non-issue. My little Timmy got into Super Mario, and now he's addicted to mushrooms. At least her kid is making money; mine is costing me a fortune in truffles.

Happened to my grandbabies. All they do is sit around catching pokey mans all day. Don't even know how to start an oven or use a chainsaw but they at least could get the boobies off my back screen after my phone was wormed.

Because of video games I am now addicted to optimizing conveyor belt layouts

Shit... Coin pickup addiction has claimed yet another innocent young soul. All the achievements this poor young fella had ahead of him, taken away by the foul mistress that is "kabling".

My son's dog got run over by a car and he said "Mommy mommy where's the reset button?" life doesn't have a reset button!!

/s

Late entry for an Emmy

Wa wa wa wahh