Homestuck

I’ll summarize this because this whole intermission is a timey whimy friggin’ mess. The Felt is super annoying. So far Spades Slick has killed a guy who creates a speed up time bubble around himself. Then a guy who can jump between timelines shows up with a voodoo doll only to get smacked down with a horse hitcher. Leave to an empty timeline, get bored, then come back to let Spades finish killing him. Spades noticed one of his previous victims had a pin in this voodoo. When he pulls the pin out he's sent to an alternative timeline.

In this timeline Spades encounters Sn0wman. Sn0wman is a lady and also the universe itself somehow. She stabs Spades in the eye with a cigarette brand. Spades then kills one guy and kidnaps 2 others to bring them back to his own timeline. This is where we are now. This doesn't even mention he has 3 associates running around with their own time issues.

So Spades has let his 2 hostages out of their storage containers. It seems Crowbars(7) is armed with an uzi and he’s unhappy. Sawbuck(10) is also out, he's got a lance, and a razor impaling him and a massive slash on his face. But neither of these 2 are from this timeline. Crowbar(7) was already killed here. Crowbar(7) fires his uzi at Spades but Sawbuck(10) is so huge the bullets hit him instead due to gravity. Also when hit with anything Sawbuck(10) sends everyone into a different place in time. These bullets send them all into the past where the Sawbuck(10) from the current timeline is. There’s 2 of them now.

Crowbar(7) fires again, hitting current timeline Sawbuck(10) . This sends both of them away to shoot at each other forever. This leaves Spades and his kidnapped and very stabbed Sawbuck(10) alone. Spades naturally stabs Sawbuck again with a claymore. This skipped him the moment he went to pull Crowbars(7) from the voodoo doll. Spades fails to warn his past self about anything and that loop starts over. Spades adds a butterfly knife to Sawbuck, tossing them to the future. It seems there are 2 decapitated Sawbucks(10) here and the head of Crowbar(7). Spade Pulls the lance out of Sawbuck(10). They're both brought back to where we started when Spades got back from the alt timeline. Spades waits till the second where Crowbar(7) shoots the “real” Sawbuck(10). Then manages to decapitate all 3 of them using his rapier. The scene is a mess of blood, bodies, weapons on clocks. But Spades is finally back in the right timeline and in the right time.

The vendetta itinerary is getting cluttered. 7 members of The Felt are now dead, 2 are double dead, one is dead but in an alternate timeline which doesn't count. He’s also added Sn0wman to the list even though he can’t actually kill her. This may be the original “huge bitch, bluh bluh” meme which became popular with a character we will meet later.

Spades gathers all his stuff and heads out to regroup. Droogs and Deuce Mentions Stitch(9) is still alive, and they got him to make them some Effigies. They had Spades hats from Itchys(1) stupid tricks, but they need Hearts hat still. Using the Effigy of Spade they patch up his eye.