Homestuck

Dave is in his living room, also the bedroom of his older brother. He's been in there awhile now admiring his brothers cool stuff. He’s also taunted by the plush rumps of many puppets. Dave noticed one of his Brothers swords is missing from its wall mount. As the audience suggests taking the other it vanishes out of sight.

As Dave leaves his brother's room he notices that there’s a comic left for him to see. A strange one about Roulf and an animal from the muppets, also the puppet from jigsaw. Dave explains that he believes this is his brother leaving tests to see if Dave is ironic enough. He is in no mood for it currently.

Dave heads to the kitchen (also part of the living room). Is a complete mess littered with swords, ninja gear, and fireworks. I see a Kit Rae sword jammed behind the microwave. I had a shitty knock off Morthoseth from that collection. I was terribly cringey.

Anyway Dave decides to blend a puppet that his brother left in the blender. This apparently reveals a hidden camera which Dave destroys. Deciding what gear is useful he takes a lot of stuff I’ll just list here:

• the fireworks from the sink,
• he nearly murders himself by taking the shurikens
• the nunchucks.
• a skateboard
• a battery pack
• a “jumble of unbelievably shitty swords”
• some cherry bombs
• a blender

He’s about as bad with his modus as John is with his. Also, It is pretty clear to us at this point someone is moving around extremely fast behind Dave. This person is doing things like taking swords, and moving Lil Cal around. But Dave is oblivious.

Dave notices a hidden message written on the entrance of the hatch leading to his crawl space. He needed to build something to get him tall enough to reach it. I guess this means Dave is short. Anyway, figuring he was going to find his brother up there. What he actually dies us unleashes a wave of plush ass puppets which fall onto him. This was his easier conversation with Rose about being waist deep in puppet ass. It looks more like he’s complete under the pile though so perhaps he is only saying “waist deep” to sound taller.

The hatch also had a note pinned to it with a batarang. Bro is something Dave to the roof with instructions to bring Cal. They are finally going to fight or something? I fought a lot with my older brothers. It was typically less drama and more getting my face farted on.

But before we can see this epic showdown let’s check in with John. John has things he needs to build items from his new punch cards. Instead of using them he decides to build a cool fort with them. I guess the internet wants this for some reason. Anyway John is wasting important time. Rust chucks the blanket and dress off of the cliff to prevent any future urges.

John eventually built the totems from the cards. This unlocks some new items that can be made in the Alchemizer. He can build a pogo ride, a hammer, and even a new card (which are very cheap). The card he randomly typed stuff into over a card for shaving cream is just “?”)

What could “?” mean?