A relationship should definitely be built on a foundation of companionship, healthy emotional bonding, and love. Going out to eat, movies, concerts, trips, and whatever else is nice and healthy but that definitely shouldn't be the conerstone of any relationship.
That said, if someone isn't able to pay even half of their rent, they probably shouldn't be trying to relationship. They should be focusing on trying to get to place of financial independence so that they can be at the very minimum self sustaning in the relationship. A good potential partner would probably be more impressed with low debt and stability over one's ability to rack up debt and impulsiveness.
As far as the herd goes..... everyone is poor these days. The apps, like most social media are all smoke and mirrors. So don't compare yourself to what you see online, it'll drive you crazy! And understand that when you're going on a date everyone is putting their best foot forward (hopefully).