this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2023
1372 points (97.4% liked)

Memes

45753 readers
1036 users here now

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Can't trust anyone today....

top 42 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] pottedmeat7910 135 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My wife is a surgeon... Or as she puts it, "Standing in the way of God since 2005".

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago
[–] zloubida 4 points 1 year ago

Meanwhile, God: 😏

[–] AllonzeeLV 98 points 1 year ago

Just once I want to see a coach post game blaming God for favoring the other team.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“Listen Jesus he’s got 15 years left to pay on his mortgage and at least 10 years of labor we can squeeze out of him. Plus this $110k medical bill to pay. You’re not taking him yet, you son of a bitch”

[–] Got_Bent 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

$110k? That's it? Damn, that's some good insurance!

[–] chemical_cutthroat 20 points 1 year ago

$110k is just the copay.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I have a feeling that some nutjob out there is saying this unironically.

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001 42 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I mean there are people who refuse medical assistance because "god will heal me"

So yeah. There are multiple nutjobs unfortunately

Edit: idfk how but autocorrect turned nutjobs into buttons.

[–] demlet 19 points 1 year ago

Yeah, a bunch of them were Covid deniers who ran to the hospitals when they got sick and clogged them up for responsible people. Buncha faithless hypocrites, just stay home and follow God's Plan...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

When you allow the lunacy that death, and therefore afterlife is a treatment option, well...

[–] query 20 points 1 year ago

It's called Christian Science.

[–] Salsifi 10 points 1 year ago

Always assume the worst, specially with nutjobs !

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I always see "unironically" and pronounce the "uni" part like "university". Such a weird word.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Perhaps we are pronouncing "university" just incorrectly. Perhaps in the days of creation of the university it was meant to be a word for "un-diversity" -> "university"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I have an "aunt" that genuinely believed that one of her brothers would be risen from the dead. Called it the Lazarus effect. I'd be almost willing to bet that she has posted this meme on Facebook unironcally. Probably with some cringy bible verse attached.

[–] LEDZeppelin 38 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Alternative caption: why are you removing the tumor I put in there? I haven’t yet received enough likes and prayers on Facebook.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What, just because he's the son of God you think his human form is somehow special and immune to male pattern baldness?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not gonna lie, this is a bit of a let down for me.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A God who puts tumors into people for fun wasn't the let down?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

That's just normal God stuff. Doing his own son dirty like that seems special, though.

[–] chemical_cutthroat 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't blame god. It's from Mary's father's side.

[–] frokie 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But god could’ve picked someone else or prevented Mary from receiving those genes

[–] chemical_cutthroat 3 points 1 year ago

You are putting a lot of faith in the problem solving ability of the same guy that put his brand new creation in a garden with his biggest fuck up and a yummy fruit tree and said, "I made you dumb, but I hope you understand that this tree of knowledge is off limits to your dumb ass. And don't listened to Mr. Hissy."

[–] samus12345 2 points 1 year ago

I mean, he already let him get crucified.

[–] Kandorr 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I thought it was Jake the snake

[–] yumpsuit 3 points 1 year ago

‘I banish thee, Lucifer!’

[snake leaves the wound and slithers back into the wedding present for Macho Man]

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

In this episode Jesus will be played by Michael Keaton.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Likely inherited from his mum’s side of the family. Looking at you Mary!

[–] BassaForte 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] stevedidWHAT 3 points 1 year ago

Griever Jesus is the best name I’ve ever heard for a metal band 😂

[–] RIP_Cheems 2 points 1 year ago

It may not be Jesus, but it's definitely is gods will.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[–] samus12345 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault? Instead, you should have created a world of wonder and whimsy...in LittleBigPlanet."

[–] demlet 2 points 1 year ago

How dare you?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://piped.video/-suvkwNYSQo

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.

[–] chemical_cutthroat 1 points 1 year ago

Truly one of the great monologues.

[–] yumpsuit 3 points 1 year ago

His Only Begotten Son in there contaminating the sterile field. Brown Jesus would mask up in a gatdam hospital

[–] RQG 5 points 1 year ago

Jesus Harold Christ!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

If you agree that God gave us cancer, then you should normally agree as well that S.H..e gave us everything else.