This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
That reminds me April Fools Day is approaching. When I was young I worked in a haunted house where we made blood capsules using Karo syrup, red food dye and put it into empty capsules. I deal with two guys at work that like to get stupid stoned at lunch time
When I was like 10 I remember reading advice in a body building magazine that has stuck with me ever since:
"Don't try to pick up girls, literally or figuratively, at the gym. Women don't feel sexy when they're sweating unless they're already naked."
ask them to undress before starting the workout.
got it.
In high school I had a crush on this girl who had something on her Facebook about really liking gummy worms. I read that, thought "this is my in" so I bought a bag of gummy worms. Honestly, not a bad plan. Next time I saw her, I pulled out my bag of gummy worms and ate a couple.
Did I offer her a gummy worm? No. I was under the impression that she'd see me eating them and say "hey, you like gummy worms too?" And then we'd start chatting and [something] and then we'd start going out.
And theeeeennnn...?
He developed a gummy worm addiction and became morbidly obese, leaving the work force and receiving a disability pension.
well I mean if she left even without notifying staff or anyone that is a pretty clear red flag but then again so is spurting fake blood to get attention. so maybe they would have made a nice match.
I imagine anon just staring down this woman as they puke up blood.
They both dodged bullets.
that is a pretty clear red flag
This isn't a red flag, this is a predictable psychological response:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect
The bystander effect, or bystander apathy, is a social psychological theory that states that individuals are less likely to offer help to a victim in the presence of other people.
I mean I do understand the sense of weaker responsibility when there are other people around especially those who are immediately responsive and seem like they know what they are doing. But being the first one to witness a distressing event and vacating the premises immediately without informing even the staff is an outlier example, even for this theory imo. Just to note though we are probably discussing this over some made up story.
Just to note though we are probably discussing this over some made up story.
Assuming 'fake and gay' is the default in the land of greentext.
Wow, it took until their second sentence before they demonstrated how completely unhinged they are.
real and straight
I never tried to impress women at the gym when I was single. I go to the gym to focus on self improvement. I do not like talking to other people when I’m there. I do not like looking at other people when I’m there. I also know that women at the gym mostly loathe men trying to pick them up there. So basically if you’re at the gym you’re a dude to me. And if you’re a dude don’t talk to me.
Confirmation that the term dude means men as well as women
I’ve always used dude as a gender neutral term. I call my wife dude.
I only fuck dudes
You only fuck Cruxifux's wife?
Me too.
Hell yeah dude
Always did. Dude just means "city folk." Hence the Dude Ranches that were popular in the early to mid 20th century
The correct assumption when you see frank red blood on exertion is either lung injury/infection/cancer or terminal alcoholism. It's usually the later.
Leaving Las Vegas.
Latter*
Also, don't forget the ever fun Mallory-Weiss tears if your sudden exertion involves something like jumping, or, since it's also associated with heavy alcoholism, after a long and good barfing session.
Never gets old
You're already messaging them. Why must you need to message them on Snapchat?
To send nudes