this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] ThePyroPython 251 points 1 day ago (10 children)

Americans now need a wanking license.

[–] yogurtwrong 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

OI OI OI!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣠⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠁⣩⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⣾⣿⣋⡡⠤⣀⣷⣄⠠⠤⣉⣿⣷⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣟⢋⣰⣯⠉⠉⣿⢄⠉⢻⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⢿⣷⣶⠤⠔⣶⣶⠿⢾⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠠⠀⠂⠀⠀⣧⡚⢿⣿⡶⢶⡿⠟⣠⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⣀⡀⠀⠀ ⠒⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣴⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠒⠐⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢿⣋⣀⡄⠠⣢⣀⣩⣛⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

WOTS ALL THIS???

🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

YER WANKIN' LOICENSE HAS EXPOIRED!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

ONE HUNNIT TESCO CLUBCARD POINTS 'AVE BIN DEDUCTED FROM YER ACCOUN'!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

YER THREE QUID MEAL DEAL IS GONNA BE A FIVER FROM NOW ON!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

YER WILL ALSO ONLY BE ABLE TER CHOOSE FROM A CHICKEN OR 'AM SANDWICH!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

FAILURE TO RENEW YER LOICENCE IS GONNA RESUL' IN THA LOSS OV MORE CLUBCARD POINTS!!!!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

[–] ThePyroPython 9 points 22 hours ago

Oh shitting hell lads, it's Boris The Bouncer Bot!

Quick lads, run! Scarper before he tackles and smothers you unconscious!

[–] [email protected] 75 points 1 day ago (6 children)

yew got a lie-sense for that boner?

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[–] jaybone 48 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Idaho is starting a registry for at-risk men with erections, to prevent impure thoughts. You need to send a picture of your dick, where it will be validated by an evangelical priest.

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Guilty Canadian Admission:

In my teens I lived in Brockville Ontario near Ogdensburg New York and watched a lot of US channels. The Star Spangled Banner came on at the beginning of the broadcast day for some channels.

For many years, I thought the first line was "Jose can you see"

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 day ago (3 children)

When I was a kid I thought the "for which it stands" in the national anthem was in reference to a country called "witchistan", which was presumably full of witches.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago (7 children)

Will porn be the straw that broke the mountain's back?

[–] Noodle07 20 points 1 day ago

Prohibition but worse

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[–] Eddbopkins 80 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (16 children)

That's what you voted for. You want republican rule taking away your freedoms. Well now you Floridains have what you wanted and voted for. Don't be mad you made your bed and dont like the sheets.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 day ago (9 children)

Given how close most elections are and the low turnout, I would say at least 40% of voters and 50% of the population didn't vote for this without even having to look at the election results.

[–] RaoulDook 25 points 1 day ago (3 children)

In fact, 77% of the USA population did not vote for this.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago (2 children)

This is a great opportunity to learn how to use a VPN! I'm in a blue state so haven't needed one yet, but the time is definitely coming.

[–] atx_aquarian 3 points 17 hours ago

Nowadays, there's not much to learn. For user-friendly OSes, just install the VPN app, sign in like any other service, and, at a minimum, hit "go". Most people will want to scroll through a list of locations of where they want to appear to be, choose a location, then hit "go".

[–] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

Yup, my red state pulled this nonsense, so I made a WiFi network that connects to a VPN for you in a less stupid state. If I get blocked somewhere, I just change WiFi networks.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Make sure you cum on your ID first as tribute.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago

That sounds like a chicken and egg problem. How is the cum getting on the ID before accessing the porn? If you use another means, surely you will no longer be in the mood for accessing a porn site...

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[–] anamethatisnt 95 points 1 day ago (22 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 21 hours ago

Every YouTuber sponsored by nordvpn: 🤑🤑🤑

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

May he enjoy the sweet freedom of USA!

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[–] [email protected] 144 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is pretense to intrude on other things and more importantly remove the ability to browse pornography anonymously, which is dangerous. I would never use an account to browse a porn site because why would I ever want that data linked back to me? Look at the government right now. You watch a gay or trans porn video and in a few years that could be grounds for never being able to have certain types of jobs or worse, being deemed a “miscreant”

If this was truly about protecting children they would encourage open dialogue on sex in homes and increase inclusive sex education. This is evidence based. It would still be necessary even with this nonsense because obviously vpns exist, as well as amateur run sites, sites run from outside of the USA, torrents, etc that don’t give a shit about us laws requiring age verification and will show all kinds of obscenely hardcore videos

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[–] danc4498 32 points 1 day ago (4 children)

You are free to be as conservative as you want. What more can you ask for?

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 day ago

you're free to be as conservative as the heritage foundation wants you to be.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And ANON doesn’t understand how to use a VPN?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

If they knew that, they wouldn't have made the post

[–] [email protected] 123 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Soon they’ll start recording you jerking it to cross reference with previous sessions as identity confirmation.

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[–] rustyfish 79 points 1 day ago (10 children)

At least they owned the liberals, right?

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[–] [email protected] 96 points 1 day ago (11 children)

"Verification is carried out by 3rd party". Totally no potential to misuse of collected data.

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